I am not cold
There is a heart, beating in this chest
Blood
Coursing
Unstoppable
Necessary
I won't apologize for your opinion of me
I refuse to feel belittled based on your
incorrect assumption of the character of my personality
You have no right to assume that you know what I am
thinking
Simply looking at my face and body language cannot
communicate to you my innermost thoughts and feelings
on whatever topic is being discussed
You don't know me
I am not heartless, and I am not sorry
And yet
I am
I do feel that I should...feel more
I can sense the empathy people ooze through their faces
and their posture as they physically communicate
their emotions
A skill which is foreign to me
One which I do not recognize
What is this language they express through eyes
bursting like a dam and lips quivering with the
promise of storm and strain?
I wish I knew
I wish I could understand
I crave the power that emotion can possess
I can cause these emotions
I can stir a person's heart strings into stew after plucking,
sometimes tenderly and sometimes ferociously from their
comfortable, protected home
But that would be intentional, not natural
Control of others is not enough
Power over others means nothing if the powerful
cannot control themselves
In that instance, chaos is all the more powerful
To me, emotion can often appear as the
elephant in the room
The topic which I do not desire to touch or even
acknowledge
I simply direct my eyes elsewhere, hoping, praying
that the circus from which the elephant came will
pass through without leaving so much as a kernel of
popcorn on the ground
Some purposely seek out this circus and even enjoy it
I am of the opposite opinion, although learning to tolerate it
would seem beneficial
Then perhaps I will gain common ground with others
I will see what they see
I will connect with their tender side
Instead of controlling their heart strings, I will
loosen the white-fisted grip I appear to have on my own
But letting go is vulnerability at its finest
What I must first explore is whether or not I can push myself
to face it
I am not cold
There is a heart, there is blood
The next step
is to share it
