I'm just existing

It just gets so lonely in here.

I'm not allowed to go anywhere, see anyone.

I don't even know where I am anymore.

How long have I been here?

Does anyone visit?

I hate being such a bother to you.

I wish I could just help myself.

Is there anything to do besides sit around or look out the window?

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This, folks, is stuff I hear far too often from my elderly residents. One of them even said to me: "It's not like I'm living anymore. I'm just existing." That hit me hard.

This is sad, people! I hate to rant, but sometimes this just gets me so frustrated. If you have a mom, dad, grandpa, grandma, or even great grandparents in a nursing home or assisted living, GO VISIT THEM.

It's not such a difficult thing to do, so why do so many family members forget it? I can list too many people who I love to help and talk to on a daily basis that never get visitors, and it's crushing them. And most people who do get visitors, sometimes only visit with them for 10 minutes, and then they're gone.

I'm living at school, trying to be productive, when sometimes all I can think about is how my residents are doing. I'm too scared to ask if anyone has passed away, even though I'll find out when I go in to work next anyway.

So far I've only met two residents who say they actually enjoy getting older. The rest either complain about it lightly or flat out hate getting old, wrinkly, and hard of hearing.

I think it would be great if we were a people with deeper respect and love for our aging relatives. Remember learning in 3rd grade that a whole Indian family, spanning up to four or five generations, would live in the same home? Wouldn't that be awesome if that's how our culture worked? I'm not saying move your grandparents in with you, but think about it.

I learn so much from my residents. Imagine what you could learn if you put a little more time or effort into relationships with the elderly.

Think about it. We're all just existing (until Jesus comes again!). So why not exist together?

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I know this was super random, but hey, sometimes that's how the human brain works.

Thanks for reading:)

*vague title using words to do with clouds and mountains*.........?

How are you today?

Fine.

What are you up to?

Oh, nothing. Just homework.

How are you feeling?

Fine.

Anything cool going on in your life right now?

Not really.

I try to be a cheery person, but sometimes I fall into the sad pattern of giving vague, worthless answers to simple questions.

What's the source?

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My head is cloudy. That's all I can say.

I wake up, go to class, work, talk with friends, do homework. They call it the "daily grind."

And I've tripped right into a huge puddle of it.

I'm in God's word, I'm exercising, I'm practicing time-management.

I should feel like the mountain climber that finally reached the top!

And yet my head is cloudy.

Do I know why?

Maybe. But maybe not.

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Maybe I do know.

Have you ever discovered something or were told something, and it occupied your thoughts for days on end?

That's what I'm experiencing right now.

And I'm trying really hard not to believe this, but I think this is why my head is cloudy.

Yeah, that must be it.

That's why my head is cloudy.

I guess there are clouds even at the top of the mountain.

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And now to find a solution.....

Needing some new air

Sometimes it's the simple things. A beautiful pink sunset, airplanes taking flight, homemade Indian food, making a friend's dad laugh, sitting on comfortable chairs in Best Buy, watching airplanes soar right above us on the highway, being exposed to Chinese flute music, and singing worship songs on the way home. This is what I call a retreat. Often it's not the planned retreats that give us the most benefit. Spontaneity is often what brings us back to where we need to be. Not necessarily in the present, but back to where we need to be. In appreciation of where God has placed us. Sometimes we need some new air.

This week has been a stressful one, and, upon examining my rather colorful schedule, it's only going to get more insane. It's moments like these, when I seem to be sinking into the quicksand of day-to-day life, that I unknowingly need to get away.

The most current installment of "I'm drowning, get me out of here" was solved by my beautiful roommate Alice. It took some convincing, but soon Alice, Anneliese, and I were on our way to Alice's house for some divine homemade Indian food and good old roommate conversation. It was nothing grand, yet it was the highlight of my week. Why? I think the answer is simply that we needed a break, and God provided a simple opportunity for us to get away and enjoy each other's company.

The best of times are always spent with the best of friends. I don't know what you think, but I feel that that's a quote floating around the internet said by some semi-famous person. No matter where it came from, I believe that it's true. An hour drive to and from a destination may at first seem annoying, especially since it wasn't a trip I needed to take. However, just because I was with friends I love, the drive was a blast, and I was actually sad when it ended.

It's amazing how the simplest, most spontaneous excursions are the most refreshing. It's like getting fresh air after being stuck inside all day.

But this trip was better than that.

It was better than fresh air.

It was like completely new air.

Which is I think what God wanted me to find.

New perspective.

New thoughts.

Completely new air.