Part of being human

Sometimes I wish I could be Superman.

I'd just swoop in and save the day. And not just for people in trouble, but for anyone. Anyone who was in need of any assistance would receive a visit from me that would result in them smiling and feeling confident that they could go through the rest of their day happily.

Many events of my day reminded me of a commonly asked question: why do bad things happen to good people? Why is it that good drivers get in a fatal accident the one time they are distracted while driving? Why does disease plague our human bodies?

These are the questions that spin through my mind as I drive home from work at 10:15pm in the single digit weather after a surprising and frankly awful shift. I was reminded today that it is possible to remain calm in the face of shocking events. I think that's a lesson that a lot of us need to see. Bad things happen. And when they do, we need to hike up our big girl pants and take care of the issue directly.

Being a freshman in college, I see a lot of doubt. Other students doubt whether or not they're in the right place or the right major. It's not difficult to assure or encourage them, but is it enough? Does that erase their doubt? Not always.....

Doubt plagues me too sometimes. I doubt that I'm doing my job well enough or if my mistakes are producing drastic effects. I doubt that I'm smart enough for what I'm studying. I doubt I make a positive difference in the world. But after these doubts root themselves in my mind I need to remind myself of who I am and what I am doing here. I am a child of Christ. I am human. I mess up. I break under pressure. I fight with people I love. But I am also forgiven. I don't belong on this planet. Heaven is my real home.

I may doubt sometimes. I may want to make everyone happy and do everything perfectly, but I can't. No one can. I'm trying my best, and that's all I can do. Making mistakes is part of being human. That's a tough thing to accept, but it's definitely necessary.

Time to reflect

It's easy to get a case of the "holiday spirit" that most experience this time of year. Charlie Brown is on TV. Nearly every store has some crazy sale going on. Commercials on the radio, Christmas music blaring, people being oddly friendly. All of our emotions are in the moment. Enjoying turkey with our family, sharing what we're thankful for. Opening presents and being truly grateful. Ringing in the new year with a party and sparkling grape juice.

That's my kind of holiday. And maybe yours as well.

But this season is not just for joy in the moment. You know what I love to hear people say on their birthday? They say they're thankful for another year that God has given them. Shouldn't we do this every year on the holidays as well? Shouldn't we reflect on the good things that have happened over the past year? The growth we experienced, the people we met, the goals we reached?

This year I'm going to try to reflect. Not just enjoy these wonderful moments, but remember past times as well. I want to think about how God has used me and used others to get me to where I am.

Warning: it's coming

Warning: the time is coming where America will be dissolved in complete and utter selfishness, fatigue, and insanity. Ironically this chaos will ensue the day after, or even the day of, we give thanks for all of our blessings. I know this bugs a lot of us every year, myself included.

Yes, Christmas will be upon us soon, and we all want the perfect gifts for our family and friends. But that does not mean that the whole nation needs to attack their local Targets and Wal-Mart's all at once to find what they want while simultaneously trampling the little old grandmas who really should not be awake at three in the morning!!!

Whew, glad I finally got that said.

Have a safe holiday! Happy Thanksgiving and an early Merry Christmas:)

Titleless

Writing multiple papers each week on a vast array of topics: welcome to college.

This week I am puzzled by one essay in particular. After the first few weeks of the English course I am in, I realized that I was going to be hit head on with challenging readings, deep discussions, and mind-boggling essay topics. Tonight is yet another example of that jelly-brained feeling I get when I have absolutely no clue where to direct my thoughts and eventually this paper.

We read a book. A great book, but a sad one. It's title is Saint Maybe, and the author is Anne Tyler. I enjoyed this book, however sad and troubling it was. This boy Ian feels guilty for causing the death of his brother and the brother's wife. Ian's sister-in-law had a baby, her third child. Ian babysat for them quite often, and he started to suspect that his sister-in-law, Lucy, was having an affair. Lucy and Ian's brother Danny got married very quickly after meeting, which caused Ian to suspect that the baby, Daphne, wasn't even Danny's child. Ian, in anger, blurted his suspicions to Danny which caused Danny to drive into a brick wall and kill himself.

Lucy seemed to whither after Danny's death, and she eventually died as well. Ian had grown close to the kids, Agatha, Thomas, and Daphne. Lucy had no family, no connections anywhere, so Ian and his parents took in the kids, although Ian did most of the work. Through Ian's journey in life we see that he is raising these kids and basically throwing his own life and dreams away because he is trying to atone himself for killing Danny and Lucy. He can't seem to understand the true meaning of forgiveness.

Sorry if Saint Maybe was a book on your reading list, I'm just trying to gather my thoughts. The essay we are to write is on beautiful truth. We are supposed to talk about the intersections of truth and beauty in fiction, while jumping back to Anne Tyler's novel for examples of this. But how am I supposed to do this when I don't know what we mean by truth and beauty? When I think of truth I first think of the Bible, then I think of...well, what do I think of next? I don't really know. And what is beauty? Is it the goodness we see in creation? The goodness in each of us? I can see where beauty comes into the picture, but where does it intersect with truth? How does one character or event in the novel signify beauty and truth simultaneously?

I could step away from this assignment for a time to get other homework out of the way, but I just can't. All I can do is stare at a blank document, jot some ideas in my notebook, start typing a sentence, and then delete it for its lack of true content.

I am again reminded of what it's like to truly wrestle with a topic. To not know exactly where your thoughts settle or where the end result will be. So here's my question: can I find my ideas through writing? Or do I need to have my ideas clearly laid out before I pull up a blank document?

For once, the act of writing is winning this battle. And to be honest, I have no clue how to fight back.

The R word

Every student fears it. Especially freshmen who are to experience the R word last of all out of the whole campus. Which results in the build-up of nerves so extreme that the buildings in which the freshmen reside become nearly toxic in comparison to the rest of campus.

It requires some planning ahead and quite a lot of fretting as to whether or not the coveted prizes will still be available after the others have already picked over them. The prizes? If you have not guessed yet, it's classes. The classes you need for your major, the best profs, the worst profs, everyone wants their ideal schedule.

And it all comes down to tonight. At 12:01pm, the world in which we live will be overcome by temporary chaos. Fingers flying on our keyboards, scrolling, clicking buttons, celebrating private victories when we gain a spot in the most coveted class with the best professor.

I hope by now that you realize what I am hinting at when I say "the R word." I don't know if I can even bring myself to say it...reg....regis.......oh, I don't think I can do it!

REGISTRATION!!!!!!

Okay, there. You made me say it! I just hope that doesn't add to the insanity that will soon engulf this whole building......

lovin' my sibs:)

I have a lot of people in my life to love and be proud of, but some of the most important ones are my siblings. I used to complain about being the middle of five kids, but it's actually pretty great! I'm so proud of all the accomplishments they have made.

Nichole is married to a great man, and they have one of the most adorable sons in the entire universe. (And I'm not just saying that because he's my nephew. He's legitally the cutest!) They moved to DeMotte from Michigan which means I get to see them more often than I used to, when I'm home from school that is. I never really had the best relationship with Nichole, but now that she lives close I'm excited to grow closer to her and Greg (and Micah of course!)

Then there's Danielle who is in Nicaragua! How cool is that??? She meeting new people, seeing new things, and having experiences that will probably stick with her forever. I couldn't be more proud of her, even though she's a Dordt Defender and not a Trinity Troll;) I can't wait to see what she does in the future because I know she can handle almost anything that gets thrown at her.

I couldn't NOT talk about my studly "little" brother Caleb. This kid is involved in everything! From the play, to sports, and chillin' with his friends, he's quite the busy-body. I just hope he's giving enough of his free time to homework *cough cough*. (Caleb, if you're reading this, I hope you know that I'm watching you.....-_-.....watching you.)

What to say about Dylan. I'm just glad my friends have stopped calling him cute! Boy, did that get annoying...Dylan is cruising right on through fifth grade like a champ. I still think it's unfair that he never has homework though. He played soccer again this year which is, of course, awesome:) He's still a chatter-box, but I love that about him. It's great to come home on weekends and get attacked with a ton of stories my brothers want to share. I'm fine with not talking for awhile!

Whenever my mom brags about us kids, I usually just roll my eyes and brush it off. After reading this post to myself I realize that I'm acting kind of like her! But whatever, it's good to brag our siblings, right?

The Power of Trust

There is nothing more humbling than trust. Being on the receiving end of someone's trust makes me feel like I am doing something right in the friendship realm. And when I know I can trust someone, it's a pretty big deal! It's like handing them a list of my secrets, all typed up in a neat little list, and hoping that they don't slip up and spread your secrets. I'm allowing someone else into my mind and my thoughts because I trust them. Humans are social beings. We want to talk, share, and trust.

Trust is one of those scary traits that you don't want to abuse. I've seen what happens when a person loses the trust of another. It isn't pretty. Trust is a wall that take ages to rebuild after it was smashed. Sometimes trust is broken in an extremely significant way or it is eaten away by simple gossip.

Gossip is so easy to succumb to. "Oh, I'll just tell her because it's funny" or "It's not like he's going to tell so-and-so." We allow these thoughts to justify our indulgent, sinful gossip. But all we're really doing is letting the devil sit in our souls for awhile while we talk to so-and-so, and then we push those gossipy thoughts from our minds like we never said anything at all.

We aren't going to be able to push sins, like gossip, out of our lives if we keep allowing ourselves to dip into them once in a while. Trust is one of the foundations of every relationship, whether a friendship or a more serious one. Breaking someone's trust can significantly change the way they perceive your relationship and you. That's why trust is so difficult to gain back.

I'm sure a lot of us have seen the effects that broken trust can have. I'm trying to make it a goal to be less gossipy and more trustworthy. Sure, I fail occasionally, but at least I'm trying. Will you?

Rain, rain, go away

Despite my title, I am very fond of the rain. The refreshing drops pelting my face and soaking my hair. It's rejuvenating and invigorating.

I recall some amazing things that occurred in the rain. Every summer my family goes camping in Ludington, Michigan. It seems as though the weather up there was hit or miss each year: all sun or all rain. But the rain didn't stop us from enjoying our vacation! Fishing in the rain, walking in the rain, biking in the rain, it was all as much fun as it would be in the sun. My aunts and cousins try and visit us when we're in Ludington, and one day they visited us on one of the coldest, rainiest days I can remember. And for some insane reason we decided to brave the cold and rain and float down the river that ran through the campground. To this day I have no idea why we did that, but the awesome part is that that was one of the best memories I have from our adventures in Ludington. Why? Because I was surrounded by family, love, and oh so much laughter.

Or what about the time all us kids in the neighborhood went to the corner by Scott's house to play in the huge puddle that lived there? I have some great memories of mud fights and biking through that puddle over and over again. In this situation, we were just kids making the best of what we had on a Saturday away from school.

Just like the rain didn't get in the way of our Ludington adventures, I don't see it getting in my way today. My complaining about the rain will do no good. So why can't we recognize it for what it is and be thankful that our gracious God decided to water His beautiful earth? Look at the trees in their wonderful fall hues. Doesn't the rain make them look all the more bright and beautiful? Yes, a sunny day has its perks, but can you go puddle jumping on a sunny day? Not unless it rains!

As I walk past these college kids bundled up in hoodies, raincoats, rainboots, and hugging umbrellas as close to their heads as possible I can't help but wonder if they're taking rain for granted. I'm not saying I don't take it for granted sometimes, but why don't we all try to enjoy the rain? Let's take a gloomy day and make it fantastic. Let's go puddle jumping, bike riding, and rainy day walking all for the glory of the magnificent God that has blessed us so much so that He even knows the perfect time to send us rain.

It's the little things...

Everyone has the capability of making someone's day. Yes, even those awful coworkers or neighbors that seem to contain the maturity of a five year old.

Anybody can do it! It's the little things that count. Sending flowers to your wife. Picking up another's books they dropped in the hallway. Writing an encouraging note. It's all possible!

Want to know how I know this? Because sometimes I find myself on the receiving end of these encouraging tid-bits. Words are extremely powerful. This week, my mom facebook messaged me (which surprised me because she is somewhat technologically challenged. love you mom!) the most uplifting words I had heard in a long time. I love when people reach out to others simply to spread share some encouraging words.

I feel that this is an act that can bring us closer to how Christ would act. Think about it: Christ was the one who reached out to the blind, sick, and lame. He went to a tax collector's house. Sure, we can't perform miracles like Christ did, but being built up by a friend, peer, or family member is almost a mini-miracle.

The most impactful thing we can do is spread a little love to build our friends up. Wow, I totally just reminded myself of GEMS from like seven years ago.....holy flashbacks!

Anywho, spread some love today! You never know when your encouraging words could truly change someone's life.

Encourage one another and build each other up:)

Hey friends!

Recently my friend and fellow Troll Nathan started a blog in which he ever so kindly shared the link to my blog. So, to return the favor, I though I'd share with you the link to his blog! So, when you finish reading my most recent posts, you can jump over to his blog for more thoughts from a college kid.

http://eaglesarecoming.blogspot.com/

While I try super hard to bring you well-worded documentations of my life, Nathan is an English major who is far better with words than I am. I would highly suggest checking out his blog:)

Thanks, all! :)

Chill time:)

I love those chill Saturdays where you can wake up when you want and do whatever.

This morning I didn't have to get mad at my alarm, leap out of bed so as not to be late, or struggle to stay awake in class.

Today I mozied (yes, I consider that a word) out of bed and took my sweet old time getting ready for the day. Then I went to support our lovely Troll ladies out on the soccer field, accompanied by my two fantastic friends Anneliese and Kyle. We're pretty much the perfect mix of humor, attitude, and joy in general. They were even kind enough to drive back to campus for me because I was stupid and didn't dress warm enough at all for the forty degree weather we are currently experiencing. Let's just say I was numb all over about ten minutes into the game.

Just talking and chilling with a couple friends can be so relaxing and rejuvenating. No requirements. No one to impress. Just taking time to enjoy our friendship. After the game we headed over to the BBC (Bootsma Bookstore Café) for some lunch. I love how honest we can be when surrounded by friends. Sometimes we need to take some time to talk through things that are bothering us. Friends are those people who know when to lend a listening ear and offer encouragement and advice. They are also those we can laugh with about things that aren't even that funny!

I know I've said this a lot, but I am truly so thankful for the new friends I've acquired here. I can't say that enough:)

New School, New Friends

I have almost peed my pants three times already this school year because my friends are so crazy hilarious. That's pretty much a record for me! One thing that makes TCC so great is the people. Everyone I meet and talk to is so awesome in their own unique way. I'm so happy with the new friends I've made that I thought I'd give them a shout out and talk about their unique gifts and quirks that make them great. If you aren't mentioned it's only because I got sick of typing. Guess I'm feeling lazy today, but hey, it's Friday!

First and foremost, I have to begin with my roommate Maddie. She is loud, obnoxious, hilarious, and passionate about the sick in the world (aka, nursing major!). Maddie is also extremely smart. If she has a question, she will research it until she finds an answer. She's great at writing papers, which helps because I'm not so great at it. The one difference is that she loves horror movies. I'm definitely not in that boat

Next, my suitemate Anneliese, one of my many friends from Wisconsin. This girl is one of the funniest people I know, in more of a dry-humor sort of way. She has an impressive sense of style and loves to laugh, especially when someone else in the group does something stupid! Anneliese is studying social work, which I believe fits her perfectly well. If I need an opinion on something, I know she'll be 100% honest with me. Couldn't have asked for a better sweetmate!

Next comes my friend Amy James. This girl will give you the most straightforward, blunt answer you ever needed! I've never met someone so logical and level-headed as her. If there's a problem, she doesn't skirt around the edges, she faces it head-on! She's going to do incredible things in the future, that's for sure. And, as a side-note, her sense of fashion is superb! It helps to have fashionista on our hall:)

My friends Sierra and Nathan kind of come as a pair (they are dating after all). Sierra is an incredibly unique, talented, and hilarious girl. She's the girl who introduces herself like so: "Hi, I'm Sierra like Sierra Mist!" It's awesome. Nathan is the perfect fit for her. His humor compliments her joy really well:) He is studying English and Sierra is studying music. Cutest couple of the year award? I think yes.

Kaitlyn is a burst of energy, 24/7. She has a legit addiction to sugar. She ate a whole can of straight up whip cream in one night! I don't think I've ever seen her not smiling. She's one of those people that we can make fun of anytime, and she will laugh with us. Her major is Spanish, and did I mention she could make a noise like a cricket? It's seriously spot on!

Nick can be summed up in one word: sass. If he gets burned by someone, he'll yell "aw heck no!" and fire back with a sharp comeback. This makes life very interesting because we all hate being dissed. There's a lot of yelling when Nick, Maddie, Anneliese, and others all hang out in the lounge. We're not very good at respecting quiet hours either! After an evening of laughter, we usually all have soar throats from yelling. There's a lot of sass that goes on in our group:) Nick is a CNA and a nursing major which fits him very well.

Alice is the sweetest and probably most talkative person I've met here at Trinity (in a good way of course!). She is studying nursing as well and happens to be my chemistry lab partner. She is passionate about the hurting people in this world, which will help her push to become a nurse. This is the girl that introduced me to the deliciousness of Steak 'n Shake and is practically a professional beautician.

And then there's another Wisconsin friend, Beth. She is studying nursing and Spanish (like me!). I can talk to her about pretty much anything without being judged. I love that we can laugh together whenever we talk. The torture of English class is a little more bearable (barable? no) when I sit by Beth. So thankful for her:)

Emily is Beth's roommate, and they compliment each other perfectly. Emily is studying nursing as well (notice a pattern?). She is one of my psychology class buddies and I'm told has a vast supply of adorable scarves:) A conversation with Emily can brighten any gloomy day.

Val, along with Beth, Emily, and April, lives in West Hall. I live in South Hall which, while they are next to each other, means I don't see them as often as I should. Val is kind of a genius, studying Biology. She is from Pella, Iowa and obviously thought Trinity was a better choice for her than Dordt:) I love saying hi to her when she's working at the cafeteria. She is another English class buddy:)

And then of course there's April. I've known April for a solid fifteen years, and while we weren't friends for a little while in there, I'm glad she's at Trinity. I don't think there's anyone here I can be more honest with, or will be more honest with me. This girl is going to be one of the best teachers out there. She is creative, intelligent, and awesome with kids! She's probably going to be that cool mom that all her kids' friends love.

I know there're so many more people I've met and connected with, but I'm going to stop the list here. If I wrote about all of you, this one post would be the equivalent of all my other posts combined! I'm incredibly thankful for all the amazing people I've met here at TCC. Not just other freshmen, but other students, and even faculty and professors as well. The community atmosphere here is truly impressive. I am proud to call this place home:)

Foundation

One of the most difficult times in our lives is when we see loved ones struggling through pain.

A friend of mine told me that she was falling away from her faith. She couldn't say why, just that she felt empty. She said she didn't know how to "get right" with God again.

Another friend is going through an extremely tough time with her parents. Both sides have valid arguments, but it seems like the parents have the upper hand.

Sometimes it's hard to be expected to respond to these troubles. Sure, they don't affect me directly, but I still want to encourage and bring my friends some sort of spark of happiness. Whether through a hug, an "I'll pray for you", or even just by lending a listening ear.

Why is it that when others cry, we want to cry too?

Or how is joy and laughter so contagious?

Human beings are social. And when one being feels one emotion, I guess something in our genes makes us share in that emotion, whether we want to or not.

The most important thing to remember is that Christ wants to share with us too, in good times and bad. He is our shoulder to cry on and our friend to laugh with. I forget sometimes, but now that I'm sharing in other people's hurts, it's the promise I want them to remember most. He is our friend, our rock, and our strongest foundation.

My inescapable God

Ever have one of those days where your brain just won't shut up?

I can't focus on anything because there are multiple random thoughts zooming around in my head.

I tell myself to ignore those thoughts and get it together, but it doesn't work.

Why can't I focus?

Drink coffee. Doesn't help.

Go for a walk. Doesn't help.

Vent to your friend. Doesn't- oh wait. That did kind of help. I know that someone understands and is going through similar struggles.

I know that someone cares and wants to listen.

I know this about my friends here on earth, but also about my heavenly friend.

Laying out all my problems for God to see is one of the most helpful, painful, and yet encouraging things to do.

God knows us from the inside out anyway. He created us. He knew what we were going to do with out lives before our parents had even met each other.

We literally cannot escape God. At first, that seems like a scary thought. I can't get away. I can't hide. I can't be completely alone. But the fact that God is always there should really be an encouragement! God is there for us when no one human friend is. God sees our deepest hurts. He understands what we go through. And the best part is, He wants to comfort us and help us.

Today I am thankful for my inescapable God.

The wonders of science

Medical science continues to amaze me.

I was at work on Friday when I saw a Fox News article at the nurse's station. Being the curious person that I am, I picked it up and read the title: "Pills made from poop could cure serious gut infections."

You can imagine my reaction! Poop curing infections? What???

I read on.

Turns out Canadian researchers found that putting the bacteria from healthy stool in gel pills, and giving them to patients with gut infections, such as C-diff, cured them. It's much easier than fecal implants, and costs far less.

It's incredible what simple ideas like "Hey, let's make poop pills instead of having to put the poop in their intestines!" can make such a huge difference.

Sure, it sounds gross but hey, it's less expensive than an implant!

Just a interesting little tidbit. Sometimes these experiments and new technologies deserve to be discussed.

Here's the link if you want to check out the article:
http://www.foxnews.com/health/2013/10/03/pills-made-from-poop-could-cure-serious-gut-infections/

We pause to live

I complain far too much.

Sometimes, I value my time more than I should.

An unexpected conversation shouldn't irritate me as much as it does.

We're always go, go, go all the time. Pausing to engage in a deep conversation with someone who needs it might help that person more than we may know.

So why don't we pause? Why do we think that we are going to run out of time and not get done what we deem so important?

Even just taking a moment to breathe can be so rewarding. Taking time out of our day to read, talk to friends, or do something fun we haven't done in a while can give you a burst of joy.

I love taking those moments out of the day to think about what I've done, seen, heard, or said. Is my impact a positive one? How can I improve? Did I treat everyone I met with the respect they deserve? Or did I walk away thinking "I don't want to talk to her now" or "Oh my word, he really gets on my nerves."

Being Christ-like is something I struggle with each and everyday. I complain about the actions of others, which proves that my actions are no better. People mess up, but it's not my job to call them out on it. My job is to pour God's love on everyone I meet, and to live out the life I am supposed to live.

Words

The power of Scripture is truly remarkable.

A friend of mine that has been plagued by night terrors for years happened to read a very reassuring psalm before going to bed. I bet you can guess what happened...she didn't have a single night terror that night! Praise God.

I remember when I was little, and my parents told me that if ever I was scared at night or in some other circumstance, I could call on the name of Jesus to calm my fears. When I finally got my own room years ago, I recall verbally calling on Christ to cast the devil out of my room and feeling immediately calm.

I believe in the power of the Word. I believe in the power of speaking Christ's name. I believe in the power of prayer, the power of faith, and the power of our great and awesome God.

The question is: do you?

Lovely, lovely peace

At home, if I ever needed a quiet place to relax, read, or gather my thoughts, I would sit on my front porch. Once I was comfortably nestled into the wooden rocking chair on the right, I would rest my legs on the railing and prepare to be restored by the peace that I felt. I could read. I could think. I could close my eyes and breathe in the beautiful scent of God's earth. I could shake off the day and restore myself.

This was my quiet spot, even though I could have easily been distracted by cars zooming by my house, kids racing each other on their bikes, or the voices of my family through the kitchen window behind me. The sound of the birds fighting on our lawn below, squirrels clamoring in the branches above. I could easily get distracted and lose my focus, but I didn't. I don't.

Sitting in the lounge of Starkenburg floor on this beautiful fall day, I hear doors slamming, friends chatting, music blaring, and skateboards cruising down the sidewalk. But I don't care. All I have right at this very moment is peace. I feel completely at peace. I have soft piano playing on my laptop. I'm surrounded by books, papers, assignments, and writing utensils. I have so much I need to conquer. So many mountains to climb, hills to clamber over. But I don't care. I'm comfortable. I'm rested. I'm relaxed.

That doesn't mean I won't get anything done, though. I am simply enjoying this time of peace and quiet. The distractions are there, but I don't notice them. Today was a beautiful day. The leaves are changing, the air is turning crisp. And on top of it all, I know that even though I am alone right now, I am definitely not lonely. I have a family that misses me (at least they say they do!) and friends that enjoy my company. And knowing that, I can rest. I can slow down. I can think, I can dream, I can write. I am floating in peace. Lovely, lovely peace.

Welcome Home

Last night, a group of girls hosted a Women's Retreat for all the women on campus. It was a fantastic night of worship, prayer, games, food, laughter, and fellowship. After hearing some testimonies, we were given some quite time to reflect on our own stories. While flipping through my journal to find an empty page, I happened upon something I had written on the 25th of August, this year, just a few days after moving to Trinity. I thought I'd share it with you:)

"Trinity can be summed up in one word: community. A community is a place where you can feel accepted for you: your personality, your quirks, and your opinions. Sure, not everyone will get along perfectly all the time. We aren't perfect. This is part of growing up, I suppose. We learn to quit being silly, judgmental high-schoolers and become college kids who are hopefully a little less judgmental. On the note of silliness, however, I am happy to report that that gets even worse! :)

Back to community, we are here to support each other. We meet roommates, those on our hall, in our building, and in similar classes. And through them, as well as our hobbies, interests, and characteristics, we find our niche. Our place in this puzzle. Our spot on the gigantic map that is trinity. And that's what freshmen year is all about: finding our place. And that's exactly what I'm going to do."

I'm so glad I happened upon this because it proves to me that I have indeed come a long way in these, what, two months? I have hilarious friends, classes are actually fun sometimes, and I'm finding groups and categories that I enjoy being a part of. I'm thankful that I chose Trinity because the aspect of community is so important. I'm overjoyed and thankful to call this place my  home.

I don't even know what to call this.....

Sometimes society just makes me so mad.

Yahoo pops up because it's my homepage, and there's an article called "What's really in Chicken Nuggets." First of all, when I think of chicken nuggets, I think of McDonalds, and I'd rather not know what's in most things from McDonalds. I thought this was public knowledge, but apparently people still don't understand what really is in chicken nuggets. I don't know how many people have read this article or ones like it, but I don't understand the purpose of them. Is Yahoo trying to throw society into a frenzy? Are authors constantly trying to freak people out?

I feel like so much of what people think stems from the media. "Oh my goodness, Kim K tried this new face lift thingy? It must really work!" "Oh no, chicken nuggets are even worse for us than we thought? I'd better stop eating them!" Really people? Have we no true common sense left??? Celebrity endorsed items don't always work! And since when did we consider chicken nuggets even remotely healthy?

I guess I'm just annoyed that most juicy shared news of the day isn't always helpful, productive, or even worth sharing. Why do I care about when Miley Cyrus' "wild streak" began?

However, what does make me glad is seeing news about government, economics, and politics. These are the areas that most people seem either uninformed or misinformed about.

This was kind of a rant, I guess. I probably should stop getting so upset about chicken nuggets and such...

Self-worth

It's so difficult to be confident sometimes. I know who I am. I'm aware of my strengths and my weaknesses. My faults and my flaunts.

You know what our society is good at? Making "normal" people feel like junk. Why is that fair? There is no such thing as a truly flawless person, so why do we all try to be perfect? It's impossible!

Sometimes I get really down in the dumps because I feel all the pressures of our culture weighing down on me, telling me to get better. I know what qualities I need to improve, but I don't want society to make me change them. I want to change them because I want to personally improve myself.

I'm not skinny, and I'm judged for it.
I'm a loud person, and people mark me by it.
I have my own opinions, yet sharing them make me enemies instead of friends.

In our society, if you have at least one great quality, they put you on a pedestal and praise you for only that. If you don't possess anything worth praising, you aren't given any worth.

Sometimes I wonder if I would have more friends if I was different. If I would be more popular or more successful. If I would be happier if I were different.

 After typing out this whole vent, I'm considering not posting it. It's easy to share my thoughts with a screen instead of pouring my heart out to however many people will read this post. Please don't take this as a cry of insecurity. It's just that sometimes I don't feel as important, unique, and beautiful as I am. I just wanted to reflect on how our society seems to encourage the wrong things while discouraging characteristics that make each of us beautiful.

It's in these times that I realize even more that I have to lean on God for my ultimate source of encouragement. And so should you:)

Words.

The Bible calls the tongue a double-edged sword. Sometimes the things we say can carry more punch than the things we do. It seems our culture has taught us to speak anything that is on our mind, even at the expense of others. Have an opinion? Share it with the world! Update that status, tweet that tweet, text that comment, or publish that blog.

Occasionally while I write these blogs, I have to delete portions of them because they are too blunt or even rude than I deem necessary. I apologize if anything in my blogs has ever offended you or swayed your impression of me. The last thing I want to seem like is a person unlike my actual self.

Typing words on a screen is much simpler than projecting our thoughts through voice, especially when they're negative. Social media and the Internet in general for some reason cause us not to think before we "speak" with the words we type. Why is that? Why is it so much easier to be rude through the words we type? Why is cyber bullying becoming seemingly more "popular" than actual bullying? We throw out any opinion we want to this screened-in world without realizing that actual people are reading it and interpreting it in their own way.

Lesson of the day: think before you speak, especially when "speaking" through typing something on the Internet somewhere. Once a thought slips from your mouth, it's out there forever. It's the same thing with our digital words. The tongue is a double-edged sword. Let's form our words for encouragement, not destruction. This is something that I and I'm sure many others need to work on.

Thanks for reading:)

For the love of Chicago

I'm used to little farming towns, not huge cities.

Knowing everyone, not seeing strangers everywhere.

This city is beautiful, and yet it holds many ugly secrets. The fast-paced "high life" is what most notice upon first glance. But now look deeper. See that homeless man on the street? Can you tell that that woman there just lost everything this very day?

It's easy to get caught up in the bright lights, breath-taking buildings, and well-dressed citizens. I feel drawn to it, but like I don't quite belong. I'm just a random college kid, walking around in jeans and a long sleeve sweater thingy. What good can I do? What impact can I have on this beautiful, mystical, majestic city?

Hopefully...someday....a lot!

I'm like Maria, spinning on the tops of the beautiful hills of Austria (yes, I just referenced The Sound of Music!). Free as a bird in this wild jungle of a city. Yet I'm tame. I'm mature. I try to notice the things that others don't. How cool would it be to someday live in this lovely city? To walk these streets with such purpose and power. To be "one of them" and yet still be me.

I recall watching one of my favorite episodes of Arthur in which Muffy and Sue Ellen take a trip to Crown City. Muffy, in her obnoxious voice, kept singing:
             "Crown City, you're dynamite you're peaches and cream....."
And the song went on accompanied by Muffy's voice.
Here I am. Little Muffy. Singing away about the beauty of the big city. And I'm the little country girl. Just taking it all in.

Funny how opposites attract, huh? Well, this is my home for a while. I'd better make the most of it, and make the most of it I shall!

Day 2 at Trinity

Today was perfect. I woke up feeling like I belonged. This is my home. This is my room. This is my bed. You know?

I love getting to know people. Their hobbies, random quirks about them, anything they're willing to share. And I know I accomplished that today. I met so many awesome people and engaged a few deep conversations. It's truly amazing how honest we are when we are amongst strangers! Best way to get to know each other, I guess:)

Chicago was amazing. I felt like a little kid in a toy store, staring up at the large buildings and beautiful architecture. This is such a fantastic city. Our group, Kappa, walked around Millennial Park a bit until we met with Joni. She's an alum and came to tell us a how she got to the point where she's at in life. She switched majors many many times and didn't have a clear goal until later on in her college career. Her story made me think of that quote that was told to us that morning: a story is movement that comes to a point. (okay, if I got that wrong, I'm sorry, but you get my point).

God has a plan for each of us, but sometimes it just takes time to find the real direction, the end result. And I hope that God reveals his plan for us in his time:)

On a less serious note, how awesome was The Amazing Mess??? Holy cow, that was incredible. It basically consisted of playing twister on a mat covered in chocolate and other smushy stuff, swallowing gold fish whole, digging through a pudding filled diaper with your mouth to find a gummy worm, and a whole assortment of other fun and messy games. Basically everything we saw as we came, eventually ended up on our clothes! It was such a blast:)

I'm so thankful that I feel like this is my place. Classes haven't started, the real stress hasn't hit, but I know God will carry us all through it. I love the friendly community feel here at Trinity. I can talk to anyone about anything! God is truly good:)

Peace:)

Wow. I am amazed at all the volunteers that were here to help today! I went to the tent to pick up my key, turned around, and they had all my stuff in grocery carts right in front of the door! Awesome sauce. Walked into my room to find my room mate and her family working on things. We finally decided to spice up our room set-up. It looks really cool! Not to brag or anything, buuut I am:)

There are so many incredible people here. I can't wait to meet them all! First Year Forum (FYF) is allowing us to get to know each other even better, through crazy name games of course:)

Anywho, move-in day was honestly a breeze. I'm so grateful to be here, and I hope I can accomplish all the goals I have:)

I feel pretty at peace here, to be honest. I likes it:)

Start of the next chapter

Well, here it is. My last blog post before going to college! Thank you to all of who read this. I'm glad that my words are worth your time:)

I feel as though I need to stand on a stage and give an acceptance speech. Something like "Thank you for all your support! I couldn't have made it to college without you." And then the crowd of my family and friends would go crazy with applause! And my heart would swell with such gratitude that I wouldn't be able to express. I would then walk off the stage feeling as if I were floating in mid-air.

My speech would go something like this:

First and foremost, I need to thank my wonderful family, especially my parents. They have encouraged me as much as possible and pushed me to my maximum potential. When I needed some venting time, they were there. When I wanted alone time, they were still there! Hehe:) *audience chuckles*

But I also have a few special friends to thank. Through my job, I have had the privilege of meeting so many incredible people. People who thank me for helping them, tell me I'm doing well when I needed some assurance, and laughing with me in our most tired moments. You guys make a work day fly by! I love feeling respected and appreciated, even when I was new. So thank you:)

Also, a huge shout-out to my past classmates. We have been through thick and thin, and I hope we can stay in touch! I will never forget all the laughs we shared. So thank you for being me friends, even through those "drama-filled" times. I hope God blesses in you in whatever you choose to do in life.

And of course, I need to thank my church. It is such a welcoming place that has allowed many people like myself to learn and grow. I hope I can find a church like that in Palos Heights. So thank you for your years of support, prayer, and encouragement.

God gets the biggest thanks today. He has blessed me with certain gifts and talents that have allowed me to accomplish many things, including the start of my college education. All these gifts will hopefully come in handy when I become a nurse someday:)

Well, there's my speech! Now for the hour long drive to my new home, Trinity Christian College:) Nurse life, here I come!!! 4 YEARS BABY, WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!!!:D

Can you tell I'm excited? ;)

What am I?

You are obvious, yet hidden.

You are seen, and yet unseen.

You can notice, without being noticed.

You can snoop, without getting caught.

You can doze, without being scolded.

You can confuse, and be in control.

You can wander, without seeming rude.

You are a barrier that is acceptable.

You enhance, while you single out.

You protect what you hide.......



Know the answer???



Sunglasses:)



Think about it....

Just some venting.....

Why do I always get depressed during the "happiest" times of the year. Christmas comes, and everyone is all joyous, but afterwards I feel down and empty.

Summer is here! It's exciting, it's fun, I love it. Actually...I don't love it. I'm working all the time. I couldn't go on vacation. My friends never ask me to hang out. To be honest, it kinda sucks!

I'm in that weird, in-between time of my life. One thing just ended, but I'm on a waiting list for the next part. Old relationships are wilting, almost dead, but new ones are waiting just beneath the ground.

They say pride comes before the fall. But I think joy comes before the fall as well. I miss things. I miss people. I miss having my own time. I miss not worrying so much.

But don't take this as a cry for help. I'm not really in a deep state of depression, I'm just saying what I feel. Sorry for venting, but sometimes it just has to be done.

However, I am thankful. My family is home from vacation, and now there's more activity in the house. I'm making new friendships with people at work, not to mention all my adopted grandmas! And then there's that nervous excitement I have about college!

This has just been one of those weeks. Emotions turn to thoughts, and my mind goes wild with them. I think everything in the world is against me, but then I remember to put my head on straight and act like the adult that I am.

Sorry again for my venting. Mom's asleep so I have no one to complain to except you guys. I'm trying to come up with topics or prompts for this blog. Obviously, I've got nothing so far.

*sigh* Thanks for reading! Hopefully a better one next time.......

Home is Where the Heart is:)

You've all heard the phrase, but have you really considered it?

Let's take the heart. What does it represent? Love, obviously, but what more??? Life, freedom, emotion, passion.

We have the freedom to have a home to come home to. We have life to enjoy to the fullest. Emotion (and blood of course) courses through our veins. We're human! We feel excitement, passion, joy, feelings. And while the heart doesn't actually control those, it represents them.

So our heart, all things love and emotion, is at our home? Then what is home? Not just a house. It's where the people we love reside. Whether mansion or apartment or box in the streets. Home is where our heart is.

We are so blessed to be able to call a place home. Some people don't have a house or family.

I can't imagine being cut off from my family. This morning my nephew Micah was baptized and we went to my sister and her husband's house afterwards to celebrate. Imagine not having those opportunities. What if I didn't have a home to put my heart in?

My family knows me better than anyone on this planet. What if I didn't have people who knew me for who I really was? Hadn't watched me grow up. Hadn't laughed with me, cried with me, or loved me.

Home is where the heart is, and every human being deserves a home for their heart.

Drama at the ol' folks home

Sometimes my job is just too funny. Imagine being in the same nursing home as your mother-in-law. Seeing her at every meal, every activity, and her living only a few doors down the hall. If you're wondering if this is true of one resident where I work, then you assume correctly! Poor woman...

And then there's the residents who can't sit still at dinner, even when you lock their wheels. They eat five bites of dinner and try to leave, bumping the residents next to them. Yup, then the old lady claws come out. Drama, drama, drama....:)

And have I mentioned the residents who think they need to pee every five minutes? You take them to the bathroom and, since they have nothing to do, they put their call light on a few minutes later, thinking they have to go again! And I haven't even mentioned the wanderers that go into other resident's rooms and start stripping. Yikes! Or the residents who cheat at bingo...need I say more???

When I think about it, living with twenty other women in one hall and sharing a dining room and everything would get quite annoying. And it seems like when one resident is crabby, they're all crabby! You'd think they still got their periods or something.....

I don't want to come off as complaining about my job, I really do love it! And I'm thankful for it. Thanks for reading! Kind of a random/small post today:)

Questions....

Why do some people drive so slow?

Why aren't cool things free?

Why is junk food so delicious?

Why are certain people so darn annoying???

Why is Christian education so expensive?

Why is change sometimes so difficult?

Why has society been morphed into the mess that it has?

WHY AM I AFRAID OF ROLLER COASTERS???

Why is it hard to talk to new people?

Why is leaving such a difficult word?

Why is my car balding? (bad paint job)

Why are my eyes so ITCHY??? Oh wait, it's the allergies....

Why do people make fun of each other?

Why do we complain???

WHY DO WE QUESTION????????

                    
                           Cast all your cares upon Him.......

Fading from now

It's the end of the movie.

The cowboy is slowly sauntering towards the blazing sunset. Dust, heat waves, and emotions rising.

The camera flashes to the passionate girl. The friendly store clerk. The loyal friend. And even the stubborn yet thankful mayor.

The feeling? He will be missed. He made an impact. But it's time for him to go.

That's his story, but mine is slightly different.

He knows he is drifting, walking away. He is willingly fading into the distance. From one life to the next. One challenge to another. One path, branching off.

But my story is more of a realization. I didn't choose to drift. I didn't want to fade. But, like many things in life, it just happened. Poof! Bam! Shabang!!! *Insert magical special effect here*

Between being ready to leave and forge my own path and not feeling that friendly connectedness. Conversations are forced, as are smiles, even with friends. It seems that every new person I meet, pulls apart a relationship I've already created. I guess that's another side effect of change.

Being out of my comfort zone is suddenly comfortable. Usually change is a fear, but now it's a desire. Let me explore. Let me put myself out there. Let me breathe. Let me experience.

A shift has occurred. This movie is over. The end is near which will only give way to an even better beginning. A new movie. A sequel perhaps?

The cowboy has decided to walk away and start over, and I feel compelled to fall into the new beginnings ahead of me.

He is kicking up dust with his spurs. Forging a new path. And I am stepping forward, into a new beginning............




(in my boat shoes of course! haha, thanks for reading)

Bucket List

Do you have a Bucket List? I've thought about cool things I've wanted to do, like sky-diving and such. But I've never actually written a list. Here are some things I want to do in my life. Some of them, like sky-diving, are the predictable ones, some might suprise you:) These are in no particular order, by the way.

In addition to sky-diving, which I'm probably too scared to do anyway, I want to go cliff-diving, preferably in a European country like Greece or something.

I want to save someone's life!!! And of course tell the story a gazzilion times:) And hopefully being a nurse will help me fulfill this goal.

I want to snorkel on a coral reef. While I'm afraid I'd be killed by a shark, it would be totally worth it if I survived.

I want to sing the national anthem before a huge sports event, maybe the super bowl? I think yes!

I so badly want to be an actress!!! Even if it's just small parts in a few movies, I don't care. Or maybe a big show on Broadway. Or be in a music video. I just really want to act, and not just high school or college theater.

I want to be a fantastic mom. Growing up, practically everyone I know has told me I would make a great mom. So of course, I must live up to their expectations:) I want to be the cool mom that plans crafts when friends are over and loves Friday night game night and reads bedtime stories.

This would be very time consuming and probably addicting, but I think it'd be cool to be a youtuber. Instead of typing a blog, I could have a vlog. Ooo, sounds sweet, right? It would take a lot of creative juices, but it would still be really cool:)

Even though I've already done this, I'd like to go to Canada again and visit Banff and Jasper National Parks. The mountains up there were the most beautiful I've ever seen! I'd love to go hiking there again:)

Speaking of travel, EUROPE HERE I COME!!!!! Well, some day. I love experiencing different culture and surroundings. A trip around Europe would be incredible.

I'd also like to work as a nurse in a Central American country for a while. I hope to someday be fluent in Spanish so I can do this:) Or it would be awesome to be part of some sort of disaster response team.

I want to get published. I have no clue what I'll write, but it'd be awesome to look at a book or something and be like "wow, I wrote that. and thousands of people (hopefully) are reading it!"

I want to host an awards show. Not sure which one, but to be able to write jokes and speeches for it would be quite entertaining.

I want to meet the President! Even though I may not agree with him on everything, I'd enjoy meeting him. Or the next President.....or the next.....:) Wonder if they're searching for a White House nurse???

I can't think of anymore goals right now, except change the world in some way, but that's pretty generic. If I think of a lot more, I might have to make a bucket list #2, but for now, that's all I got!

Sharing in Success

I love seeing people succeed. Especially when I was one of the people that helped them.

Just this morning two of my friends from nurse's aid class took their test to officially become a CNA (Certified Nurse's Assistant). One was extremely nervous. The other? Confident. Almost cocky.

But both of them sought advice and answers from me because I took the test last month. I hoped and even prayed that my answers helped calm them down and bring them another step toward feeling prepared. After many texts and a few calls, today arrived. And with it, success for both of my friends. I literally jumped for joy after recieving each of the two texts that both exhibited the simple message: I passed.

At first, I didn't know why I was so excited for them. But then I realized it was because I was part of their journey to this day. I was their classmate, companion, and eventually, advisor(in terms of test prep). I think that's why I felt so proud of them. It's like we were all in a race. I finished first (which, in a real race, would never happen! but stick with me), and then I ran back to encourage them and even run with them for a bit. Now just look at this image in terms of a class, and you totally understand what I'm saying.

We've all experienced this in a variety of areas.

A dad cheering at his son's baseball game because he's been training him and playing catch in the yard for over twelve years.

A choir teacher clapping at a student's recital because she trained this student and taught her everything she knows.

I could go on, but you see my point. It sounds cliche, but it really does feel great to help someone succeed.

I love when my brother Caleb asks me for advice. I remember car rides to school (during his freshmen year of high school, by the way) and all the questions he would throw at me. And listening to him reminded me of how I was at that stage. I was full of questions too! And I realized that I was thankful for the people that answered my questions, which encouraged me to answer his.

When your loved ones succeed, it's a personal success as well because we get so proud of the ones we care for. I hope I get to help even more people in the future:)

Childhood Frustration

NOTE: this is another post that was written a few months ago. it was difficult to share it with the people in my composition class, so as you can guess it's difficult to share it now

I'm going to warn you right now that this ning is on a topic that is emotionally frustrating for me. It's about grandparents and just how frustrating it is to not have them.

Both of my grandfathers died before I was born, and I hate when I hear stories about them. Not because I don't care, I do care! I get so angry when Mom says, "Grandpa Bergsma would have loved your sense of humor," or when Dad says, "It's too bad you kids didn't know your Grandpa and Grandma Zuidema better." Truth is, though, I did know my Grandma Zuidema, but only until the end of fourth grade. She had a stroke when I was really little, so my dad would have to tell us what she was saying because the rest of us didn't know. I never actually knew her because we only saw her once or twice a year, and she was always in a fancy, cold, super-clean nursing home. She was a relative, but I never had a relationship with her.

Now this is the part of my ning post that might piss me off a little. I do have one grandma that is still alive, my Grandma Bergsma. She is about 80 years old, and we only see her once or twice a year. No one in my family likes her and has a relationship with her except my mom. Ever since Grandpa Burgsma died, Grandma has hated men. And this may seem like an exaggeration, but it truly isn't! This Grandma does not try to get to know us kids at all, and in return, we don't try to know her either. It simply consists of giving a Merry Christmas hug and calling to thank her for birthday money. That's it.

Want to know the most torture-filled day at DMC? You've probably guessed it: Grandparents Day. I hated it. It seemed like every other kid had grandparents there. And not grandparents that didn't care about them. These were grandparents that loved their grandchildren and knew more than just their name and age. I was always jealous of these kids. Of course, I could borrow people to act as my grandparents, but that just wasn't the same. No offense to Mrs. Funderburg, Mrs. Huisman, or April's grandparents, you are all awesome people, but you aren't my grandparents.

As this ning is growing incredibly lengthy, I shall conclude. I have no grandparents. Sure, one of them is still alive, but I have no relationship with her. It really irks me when Mom says "Grandpa Bergsma would really enjoy watching the Three Stooges with you kids! He'd get such a kick out of it." Grandparents Day is the worst day in the world, and those of you with loving, caring grandparents are truly lucky. Hold close to those relationships because to miss out on that opportunity can literally bring you to tears, and I know from experience. Trust me when I say that you are truly lucky. Don't let that go to waste!

Poem time!!!

I found this poem in my closet and thought I'd share it will you. I don't know when I wrote it, but I believe the message is a great reminder. It's more of a free verse poem. Enjoy!

Life is like a garden

Many different shapes and colors

Blooming everywhere

We don't know which flower
   we will recieve: which life

Will be picked for us from
   the garden

It seems random to us, but not
   to the Gardener

He planted those lives

Added water adn fertilized them

He knew what would happen

How the lives would grow

Whether they would flourish
   or whither.

The Gardener has a plan
   that we cannot understand

I love love:)

This past weekend, I watched my absolutely most favoritest movie of all time!!! Can you guess what it is? Pride and Prejudice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok, ok, I'll calm down now. Maybe:)
BUT I CAN'T!!!!!!
It's got everything a great movie needs.
First, great actors. The people picked for each character seem to fit it perfectly. I just love it so much!!!
Second, the plot. I love how the main story line is surrounded and supported by a lot of smaller, but equally significant happenings. How the other sisters and the friend get married and that keeps affecting Liz's opinion of Mr. Darcy.
And that's another thing: Mr. Darcy!!! The first time I watched the movie, I was like 'this better not be the main guy, cuz he's not that attractive.' But at the end I was, of course, begging God to send me my own Mr. Darcy!!!
Every time I watch this movie I say over and over 'I love this movie, I love this movie, I love this movie!!!"
It justs pulls on the heart strings, ya know? And I know that's cliche but it's totally true!!!
I watched it with my dad, and he kept telling me that him, my future boyfriend/fiance, and I have to watch the movie together before I get married.
Ok, ok, and third! It's just a classic. If you haven't seen this movie, you really really have to!!! It's such a beautiful story that makes you believe that there's hope in the world:)

Writer's Block

"Hi, my name is Mikayla. And I suffer from Writer's Block."
"Hi, Mikayla."
...........
"And how does this disease make you feel?"
"Umm..."
"It's okay, you can share. Here, we encourage openess with our feelings."
"Okay? Well, I feel pretty helpless right now. Umm, I just don't feel like I know how to handle all this pressure! And I guess that's why I'm here."
"Yes. Yes, we all know the feeling. Greg, how do you feel about your "problem"?"
"Umm, I uh, yeah. Well....I don't appreciate the fact that my enormous brain can't think of a stupid, random topic to write about!!! I HATE IT. I JUST PLAIN HATE IT!!!! WHY CAN'T I THINK??? WHY WON'T MY STUPIDLY HUGE BRAIN WORK!?!?!?
"Well done, Gregory. I'm pleased that you have learned to channel your anger into one beautifully organized vent."
"I have something to say."
"Yes, go ahead. Express your inner turmoil."
"Uh, yeah. Turmoil. Um, I was just thinking. Why not instead of venting about our lame "writer's block"--
"Oh no, Mikayla. We use the term "disease.""
"Whatever. Why not instead of venting, we help each other think of writing topics so we don't suffer any more from this..."disease.""
"Oh, what a wonderful idea! How about we all head outside, find a tree to climb, and then meditate and ponder the world around us. Then we will be able to think of writing ideas for each other!"

And that's how we solve writer's block.....Or we could just circle up and sing kumbaya!!! :)

Competition......in our insane world!

Competition.

Think about how impactful this word is in your life.

Whether it's being the best drawer (not the furniture kind) in 2nd grade. Being the coolest in jr. high and high school. Doing the best in college. Or landing the best job.

I'm all for being a competitor against ourselves. Beating the clock. Reaching past your goals. Breaking a personal record. That sort of thing.

And I think competitions in sports or clubs is awesome! I mean, imagine a world without sports? Or games? Or anything competitive??? Yeah, that would get kind of boring. Sometimes it's fun to have a competition and find out who's best:)

But then I think about the way that society has taken competition to a whole new extreme. What type of shows do you watch? Personally, I could watch anything because I'm just going to forget soon after, but do you think about what you watch....as you watch it? If you do, you discover odd things. Like how truly messed up people are!!!!! Sorry, but it's true....

Some competitive shows are hilarious, like Wipeout:) Until your mom walks in and says she hates this show because people could get "seriously injured." Typical nurse for ya....oh wait...THAT'S ME IN FOUR YEARS!!!!!!! Well, we'll worry about that later.

And shows like Wheel of Fortune, the Price is Right, and random game shows like that are pretty cool. But some competitive shows just really irk me. Take the Bachelor as an example. I'm not watching this season, but I'm guessing it's just as dramatic, stupid, and tear-filled as all the rest. Oh wait, it can't be because it's the Bachelorette(spelling?) not the Bachelor.....Whatever, it's still stupid. Why would you create a competitive show about  a bunch people competing for the love of one person. I don't get it.....even if it is entertaining!

And then I think about the competition in my life. I'm not usually pressured into being "cool" or "popular," even though I am incredibly enjoyable as I am:) I'm more of a "compete against myself" kind of person.

But really, consider the work world. And prepare yourself for a total nerd moment! In history class, we read portions from a book called the World is Flat. The author's main point, if it can be summed up, is that competition has gone from country verse country to company verse company to individual verse individual. And this isn't just a "yeah, whatever" fact. It means that more people are equipped to compete against even more people for jobs and opportunities. Some American jobs can easily be shipped to other countries because it will be less expensive to pay workers in say Asia than America(what greedy Americans we are...) So basically, the upcoming generation could possibly struggly even more in their job searches than we have now, depending the area of work. Great...

Wow! I apologize. This blog is getting incredibly lengthy. I guess this is one of those "reflect on the good and bad of something" blog posts. Competition is awesome in that it encourages people to strive toward a goal or achieve some sort of "better status." Although it can go off the deep end when people on drugs decide to create weird game shows......Okay, not the best conclusion to this blog, but you know what I'm trying to say! Unless....you don't know me. Which I don't think most of you do! Let's just say, I found out that one or more of you live in Germany........I don't know anyone in Germany.....this just got slighty awkward. I need to stop rambling!!! Good night, all:)

PS- just thought of this, but did anyone else hear that incredibly stupid answer Miss Utah gave during the Miss America pagent? Wow.....what a world. That's another competition that gets on my nerves.

Fuzzball:)

If I had to describe my dad in one word, it would have to be the word honest. This is something he's stressed since my siblings and I were little (especially with me because I went through quite a lengthy lying (lieing?) phase).

If I have a question about anything, and I mean ANYTHING, my dad will give me some sort of answer. Sometimes I want a better answer than what he's giving, but hey, at least he answers me. Although those answers tend to come in the form of a sermon, but hey, he's a pastor so we kind of expect it.

I like people who cut to the chase and say what needs to be said. My dad is that type of person, and so am I. It's scary how much we're alike! One morning, I was sitting in our living room rocking chair eating cereal. Danielle came in, looked at me, and said: "You have no idea how much you look like Dad right now!" I shook it off, but when I think about it, it's totally true! I may look just like my mom, but in terms of personality, I act just like my dad.

You know the phrase "opposites attract?" Well, I think they should add to that phrase a part about people who are similar and that they butt heads all the time. Like "opposites attract, but similars butt heads". Okay, that didn't really cut the mustard, but you know what I mean!

Arguing with my dad is impossible. First off, we both know each other's weaknesses and how to throw them in each other's face. Second, we both love adding snide comments wherever possible. Third, we are both terribly, almost brutally honest. We need to learn how to think before we speak!

One pet peeve I have about my dad is that I get in trouble for things that HE DOES TOO!!! It drives me nuts...."Mikayla, don't interrupt people." And then he goes and interrupts someone! *Sigh* parents....

With all that said, I do love my dad. He's one of the best role models I have in my life, and I'm incredibly thankful for him! Happy Father's Day, Dad. Enjoy it and all the rest to come:)

Mi Familia Bonita

This evening was one of those fun/not fun times. Long story short, we all went to the dentist and then out to dinner.

Now, our whole family in one car is a very risky thing. A fight could break out at any second! I'm sure you think it's like that with your family too, but let me tell you, my family's just as bad. There was even fighting in Applebee's during dinner because us Zuidema kids always overreact.

That was the first problem. The second was the dentist. Sure, it feels great to get your teeth cleaned, but I hate those pokey stabby things they jab at your gums with. You want me to do that to you miss dentist lady? Didn't think so. I also don't enjoy hearing that I have a small cavity that needs to get filled. Why? I brush my teeth and floss and use mouthwash. This is annoying...

But that trip to Merrillville (I have no clue if I spelled that right!) wasn't all bad. As a family we went to dinner and had a chance just to chill together. I feel like I haven't seen my family in forever! What with all our crazy work schedules and meetings and such. I don't remember our last family dinner because it was probably cut short by a phone call or meeting or something that prevented us from having a calm bonding time.

Isn't summer supposed to be less busy than the school year? I only have a month or so to spend time with my family before college steals me from their presence!!! Great, now I'm scaring myself...

I always do that. I think too much, and I freak myself out. I don't want to leave my family! And yet I do....hmmmm.....interesting................

"Temporary" Addictions

We all go through phases. Some are super weird like being addicted to pickles or something, while some are good phases like running every day. While my current phases, addictions, whatever you want to call them may not be super great, I'm still working on the good habits. Running, for example.

Since starting my job at Oak Grove, I get excited about new scrubs. I haven't had the chance to head to WalMart or anything, but it's so much fun to look at new prints and colors and such. I don't shop a lot or spend much money, but scrubs are my shopping addiction. I love getting compliments like "I love your scrubs top!" It just gives me such a rush. Hehe, "performing live gives me such a rush":) Movie quote! Where's it from?

My next addiction, which hopefully is a phase, is looking for free samples. I found this website that connects you to other websites that let you sign up for free samples. Anything from shampoo, dish scrubby things, or good deals on father's day gifts (which is how I scored the awesome gift I got my dad this year!). It's not like I spend hours on the internet, searching for deals, but sometimes my mind creates scenarios that involve me getting murdered because I'm giving so many companies my address. (And my email. Holy cow! They never stop!!!)

These are too addictions I have right now. Not much else. Besides blogging.....working.....sleeping.....eating. Ya know, the whole nine yards:)

Note to self: this wasn't a very great blog post. maybe think of something better next time?

Note to note to self: sorry self. i just kinda felt like writing about this.....peace out!

When she breathed her last...

Death is a deep concept. It boggles my mind how a breathing, living body can, in a fraction of a second, have no life at all. No blood flowing, no breath. Maybe it's one of those things God doesn't let us understand.

The reason I am writing about death is because yesterday, I was in the room when a woman passed. I was there when she took her last breath! I didn't know this woman, so I didn't cry but it felt strangely eery. She was alive one second ago, and now she's not? Her family was just here, crying because she wasn't doing well. And now, after they've left, she breathed her last, and hopefully her soul went to heaven.

Life is so fragile. I've been told this countless times, and now I've witnessed a lot of it at the nursing home I work at. However, it's not just the elderly who die. I'll admit, I can be a terrible driver at times. And there have been instinces where I could have lost my life because of a simple mistake.

That's a scary thought! I could die at ANY MOMENT. Wow. There's power in those words! But I'm so so glad that I have hope. A hope and a future that God has mapped out for me. Not just here on earth, but also an eternal future in heaven. Amen:)

FAIL

While I'd like to say I'm some awesome super hero that saves everyone's day every day, I can't. Sadly, I have many downfalls, bad habits, and set backs.

The first one that comes to mind when I think of things I fail at is cleaning my room. I have cleaned in tonight, but if you came in before, you would be grossed out! I had clothes (clean and dirty) all over the floor, with paths mapped out to my bed, alarm clock, dresser, and door. It's kind of sad, and my furniture could definitely use some dusting. I was cleaning it earlier, and I got to the point of dusting and vacuuming, but I couldn't because Danielle was asleep. So there my room sits: picked up, but not truly clean. And even after it's all clean and pretty, the next time I do laundry, it'll just get dirty all over again.....

Another fail of mine is sports. I tried playing soccer this past fall, and it was fun! But I really stunk at it. Good thing I had a positive attitude, otherwise I would've beat myself up at every practice or game. I remember in sixth grade I played basketball. I touched the ball probably about five times in a game (no joke) and only shot once. Which, might I add, was an almost swooshed three pointer! Wish I had made it. That would have been sweet! I also tried track. That was another fail. I threw shotput and discus. People thought I was strong and would be good at both, but I only broke twenty feet once in practice with shotput, and my hands were too small to be any good at discus (plus I was scared of throwing the wrong way and killing someone). Oh jr. high, I will never miss you!

Sometimes I'm not very good at being polite. I'm one of those people who blurts out whatever I'm thinking! Which is really tough to reign in (reighn? I don't know, I hate spelling). I have to learn to smile and be more polite. I have this gut feeling that I'm going to get in huge trouble someday because of this bad habit.

I don't do well with change. Some change I like, such as redecorating or changing my hair color, or going to college (at least I hope I like it!). But if we change something up in regards to family routine or something, I go crazy! Or if a cool family tradition gets broken for some reason, it really bothers me. Change can be good, but if it causes stress, I don't enjoy it.

Studying is another fail for me. Other kids are like "yeah, I studied for a good three hours!", and I'm like "I read the notes once....it took about half an hour....yeah...." I don't how I passed high school. I have such bad studying habits that they could be considered non-study habits. BRING IT COLLEGE!!! Yeah, I'm gonna die....

I'm terrible at giving gifts. Well, I used to be, I've gotten a little better! A little....
I went through this stage(and I think I'm still in it) where I thought homemade gifts were the coolest thing. Yeah, that really only works for my mom. But I'm getting better, I promise!!!

I could go into how I fail at physics or writing neatly or something, but I've think I've conjured up a good solid list for ya!

Welcome to my class!

I graduated a few hours ago, so I thought it appropriate to share with you the cool things about my class. I'll just go in alphabetical order, well, what I think is alphabetical order.

William (also known as Chris)- Chris could be considered annoying, but it's more of a funny annoying. He runs (or used to run) Techno Tuesdays at Covenant, which was awesome cause we got to dance during lunch. He liked to steal and hide Katy's stuff during calculus class. Very humorous.

Joey- Joey's a pretty down-to-earth guy. He fixed up an old mustang and it's one of the coolest cars I've ever riden in. You would think it was new! Joey's one of those guys that can be funny without even trying. History class was pretty interesting with him!

Anna- Anna is one of those people that you think is shy and quiet, but then you get to know her and BAM, she's crazy! Well, funny crazy. AND SHE'S COMING WITH ME TO TRINITY NEXT YEAR!!! :D So psyched.

Jori- Jori doesn't care what people think of her. She is honest no matter what. She can be a little weird at times, but hey, that's okay!

Bailey- Bailey is probably the most "normal" person in our class. She talks a lot, takes a ton of pictures, and talks about Tyler (her boyfriend). That pretty much sums it up.

Megan- Megan is so cool. She writes blogs, works at KFC, plays piano like a boss, and can sing amazingly (although she won't admit it!). Oh! And her slam poems are awesome:) I'm gonna miss that chick.....

Caleb- Caleb's pretty chill. He's got an odd sense of humor that can make any Economics class fun. And he's super good at basketball.

Bryan- B-ry is probably the coolest guy in my class. He's obsessed with Bdubs and will yell "WINGS" any chance he gets. If there's not a guy at Trinity like Bryan, I'll probably have to transfer because nothing will be funny.

April Mary- Wow, what do I say about miss April Mary Hubers? Well, I've known her for forever, and we have like a million stories we could tell about the weird stuff we did as kids. She is creative, funny, confident, and will win in any debate she is thrown into(but in reality, SHE would be the one to start the arguement!). Love you, April! Glad we're gonna be trolls together next year:)

Bekka- Bekka is a very colorful person. She loves to laugh and has the whitest teeth I have ever seen. And her hair is gorgeous!

Brittney- Brittney's loud, obnoxious, and crazy. Seriously, if a room is quiet and she walks in, it will NOT be quiet anymore. She likes to live in the moment and enjoy life as much as she can.

Katy- I usually don't like identifying people as my "best friends," but if I had to pick one, Katy would probably be it. We laugh about the stupidest stuff together. We even had a Harry Potter marathon this past week just because we could! I'm sure Mrs. Zeldenrust hated us because we would never shut up!

Brandon- This guy was one of the class clowns. It's like he fed off of other people's laughter. He was my CNA buddy when we took the nurses aide class. It made it a little less dreadful!

Ashley- Ashley=Awkward. That's really the only word you can use! She even did a How-to speech on how to be awkward. Yeah, it's pretty bad. But so entertaining! She one of those friends that can make any bad day better.

Steve- Steve is insanely smart. Like "going to be an engineer and taking a crash course in calculus this summer" smart. But he's still pretty cool. I felt bad for him though because he was the only guy that would sit with us girls at lunch. And on many occasions our conversation drifted toward things like tampons and boobs. Yeah, I can't imagine how awkward that was for him. Let's just say he knew when each of us was on our period.....poor guy.....

Francisco- Fran is hilarious. He's good at baseball and wants to open his own business someday. And he's Puerto Rican, so you have a spanish question, you go right to him!

Ben- Ben is good friends with Bryan, which makes sense because they are very much alike. His laugh is very distinct, and he knows German, which is way cool! Except when you think he's about to hauk (hawk? no) a lougie right in front of you. And Ben always managed to get crazy good grades in physics, without studying! What the heck?!? It's like magic or something...

Sean- Sean is another class clown. Let's just say, if we had to name one kid as the worst behaved in the class, it would be Sean. He loves to laugh, pull pranks, and mess up girls' hair. He's quite the funny guy!

Mitch- Mitch is a soccer playing, girl liking, good at singing type of dude. He's funny and is usually the guy we pick on the most. Not in the mean way, he understands we're joking.

Well, that's my class. My old class anyway. I hope I won't miss them too much when I leave. But I have a feeling I will.

Congrats, Class of 2013!!! It was an honor to have experienced all those years with you:)

As we get older....

Okay, I wrote this a few days ago, so just go back in time when you read it! :)


As we get older we....

1. Appreciate our siblings more. Now my family usually understands when I'm joking and vice versa. I'm glad that we can now hold a civil conversation without it ending in an arguement. Except our conversations end up about sex usually. And I have no idea why!

2. Somehow get smarter...usually:) Sure, I've learned a lot in school, but I've also learned about life in general. Not to mention how to take care of the ol' folks in the nursing home! Even Caleb has gained a little common sense. Shocker;)

3. Move on. I graduate in three days. I'll be taking my nurse's aid test in two days. Talk about stress! This fall I'm going to college. All this change is really crashing down right now! "Movin' on up. Movin' on up...to the east siiide!" Okay, maybe you don't know that song, but whatevs.

4. Are thankful for the people that we used to not appreciate. Good example: teachers. At first, we don't like them because they give us a crap ton of homework and seem really annoying. But now, I'm thankful for all the work they do for us. Being a teacher is one of the jobs that seem rather unenjoyable to me. I'm glad there are people in the world willing to put up with hormonal teenagers crammed into a small school building.

5. We get more mature, well, for the most part. Everyone enjoys a good laugh, but I've even seen my brothers get more mature. And that's saying a lot! I love those guys:) I still lose it sometimes, but I think I've learned how to handle certain situations more easily.

Wait...it's over???

Freshman year: Am I done yet?

Sophmore year: Can I go to college now?

Junior year: Seriously, this is taking forever!

Senior year: Come on. Is it over yet???

And now: Umm, yes. It is over.

Uh, okay! Woo hoo, I'm done with high school FOREVER!!!! I graduate this Friday, I have a summer job, I'm gonna go to open houses and have an awesome time! Yes, my friends. It is over.

Wow. I'm not sure if I like that. Change is a really scary thing! I've gone to Covenant for four years, seen the same people, zoned out during the same teacher's lectures, eaten lunch in the same cafeteria.

What do I do now?

I go to college, that's what I do.

I have to make new friends? Yes.
I have to take new classes? Yes.
I have to live in a dorm? Yes.
Am I ready for this? Yes!!!

High school is done, but I don't think it's hit me yet. I know I haven't seen my friends for the last time, or walked out of Covenant forever. But it's still a strange feeling. Next fall I will be living in Palos Heights, Illinios, attending Trinity Christian College, and studying nursing and spanish. That's a lot of change at once! But I know that I can handle it.

High school is over, yes. But now I get to move on to bigger and better things.

Writer's Block

I have to write a short story for composition class this weekend. Seems easy, right?

NOT WHEN YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO WRITE ABOUT!!!!!!!!!!

Grr....I hate having writer's block. And it's even worse because I can write about almost anything I want for this paper! And yet I still can't think of anything...

Any ideas? I'm pretty much at a loss right now. Well, time to stare at the computer screen some more, pondering the vast amounts of topics I could include in my story.....and yet writing absolutely none of them.

Beauty...a size?

Sometimes I turn the news on while I'm doing homework because background noise helps me focus.

A story came on, and people were pacing in front of an Abercrombie store. I was intrigued, so I looked up. Turns out people, mostly women, were protesting the fact that that store and others were making clothes in mostly small sizes.

Don't these stores know that people come in a lot of different shapes and sizes? Don't they know that beauty isn't just being "eye-catching" on the outside?

I think that store needed a little reminder of this. Go protesters! (as long as you don't get arrested or anything)

This particular story made me slighty angry because, let's face it, I'm part of the "bigger" population. Why do stores find the need to make it more difficult for common people to shop? The only reason I can think of for making only smaller sizes is to encourage the population to get in shape, but honestly, is that gonna happen any time soon? Oh, America, why are you so messed up....

I believe women should feel empowered to look and feel their best, whatever size they are. The goal of clothing stores is to sell clothes that appeal to the population. And, in fact, some of the population is slighty larger than your average mannequin (is that spelled right? idk).

Moral of the story: rebel against your favorite clothing store if they aren't making clothes that you
a) fit in to or b) that you like. Okay, not really:) But you see my point.

WE-ARE-FAMILY!!!

Guess my mom was right. As us kids get older, we grow to appreciate each other more. After Mom opened her present I made her and everyone had checked it out, Nichole said something to the effect of every year I seem even more cool. Whoa! That felt good to here, especially from a sister I'm not particularly close to. Which will probably change soon since she, Greg, and Micah moved back down to DeMotte! Yay:D

WE ARE FAAAMILY!!! I GOT ALL MY SISTAS WITH ME-E-E...

I love that song, and it seems so fitting to scream it through the house on a beautiful mother's day. I just hope the bonding moments we had today, don't require a holiday to occur.

Here's to a joyfilled day enjoyed with family:) Blessings on all the mothers in the world!

Spring into Action!

 

I wish my birthday was in the spring because it's my favorite season! While the weather wasn't the best today, it was still a great time to get outside and plant some geraniums.

 

(Here's last year's tomato plants)

 

When I woke up this morning, I looked outside our kitchen window at our front lawn. You know what I saw? The greenest grass I've seen in a looong time. And that made me really happy:)

 

Can't wait to lie (or lay?) on our grass and look up at the trees backed by a beautiful blue sky.

 

I love how all the yard work, time, and effort we put into our yard in the spring gives us wonderful results in the summer. I guess you could say that photography is sort of a hobby of mine, and I'm definitely a sucker for plants!

 

I don't really know where I'm going with this blog post. I guess I'm just super excited for the beauty of spring and summer:)

 



Guatemala Adventure: Part 1&1/2

2-25-13, Friday

Who knew shopping, walking, and chilling in Antigua would wear us out almost as much as a work day! We woke up at five and left at exactly six. A lot of us were pretty rushed and I forgot my shoes! We have this "no shoes" rule in our room to keep it clean, and before we left I was walking in flip-flops and socks. Well, silly me, walked on the bus rockin the whole sandle/sock style. What a tourist I am.

Anywho, food in Antigua requires more than the 20-25 quetzales most of us had saved. But shopping in the market is so much fun! Spanish wasn't much of a problem with the vendors, but sometimes bartering proved to be quite difficult. There was this one crabby lady that had the coolest earrings in her shop that no one else had and I wanted them so bad! Yeah, I had to give in. But it's so cool thinking about the prices in American dollars. Stuff here can be really inexpensive!

It's amazing to be exposed to this culture. At Casa Bernabe, we are super excluded, it's kind of all you see. But antigua was really cool. Stone streets, bright buildings, hand-made crafts to admire. It's just so different, I love it!

It was interesting to get a tour of a cathedral because we had extra time. Sure, he spoke english, but his accent was so thick that we only got 30% of the information. Kinda strage, but it was a really cool cathedral ruin sight thingy. Til we went in the pitch black basement with holes and puddles. Yeah, shouldn't have forgotten my shoes!

TOO MANY CHOICES!!!

You know what's intimidating, but in a good way? Movie stores! I walked into Movie Madness after school today with probably seven or eight movies in mind. Watch out, fellas, here comes the ADD!!!

Problem 1: I didn't know which type of movie I wanted to watch this evening, which would have narrowed it down a ton! Funny? Dramatic? Serious? Heartfelt? Gah! THERE WERE JUST TOO MANY OPTIONS!!!!!!!

Problem 2: I made the mistake of asking a few friends what movies I should see. That practically tripled my original list!

But the cool thing was, I got two movies for $3.64! That seems like a really great price to me, but I have no idea if it is. Go Movie Madness!

Any way, after walking around the store a few times, I decided on Silver Linings Playbook and Baby Mama. I've heard good things about both, I like the actors in each of them, and in a few hours I'll hopefully have decided on which one I want to watch! I guess the other movies I want to see will just have to wait.

Okay, this paragraph is completely random, but I'm listening to some seventies smooth jazz music right now, and it is far better than our pop music today! *Sigh*, our world is getting so messed up......It's amazing what cool music you discover when writing a research paper on music of the 20th century.......:)

Spoiled

I have a brother that complains because he can't have facebook yet.

I have friends that play games on iphones or send pictures of their faces to their friends across the cafeteria.

I have a family that lives in a house with a refrigerator, air conditioning, heat, an oven, a computer, two TVs, and enough rooms to go around.

I go to a school that is setting me up for a descent future.

I have an actual church building to go to every Sunday.

I have everything I could possibly need!

And yet...

I complain when the power goes out.

I'm jealous of my friends' cool phones.

I complain about homework.

Sometimes I don't like going to church.

On some days, I'm crabby because I don't get exactly what I want.

People in our nation are super spoiled. And even more so now than even a decade or so ago. Now before you start yelling at me about poverty and stuff, just hear me out! Just think of all the random stuff we have in our houses that we don't even use. It's ridiculous! I know I don't have room to judge others, I'm guilty of this too, but I think is a problem we need to learn to overcome. However, I doubt that this change will ever happen, which is really sad to think about...

Just a thought I wanted to share. There are so many problems we can see in our nation and right now, and it's sad that whatever we do may not messure up to anything. Wow. Depressing...