Why do I always get depressed during the "happiest" times of the year. Christmas comes, and everyone is all joyous, but afterwards I feel down and empty.
Summer is here! It's exciting, it's fun, I love it. Actually...I don't love it. I'm working all the time. I couldn't go on vacation. My friends never ask me to hang out. To be honest, it kinda sucks!
I'm in that weird, in-between time of my life. One thing just ended, but I'm on a waiting list for the next part. Old relationships are wilting, almost dead, but new ones are waiting just beneath the ground.
They say pride comes before the fall. But I think joy comes before the fall as well. I miss things. I miss people. I miss having my own time. I miss not worrying so much.
But don't take this as a cry for help. I'm not really in a deep state of depression, I'm just saying what I feel. Sorry for venting, but sometimes it just has to be done.
However, I am thankful. My family is home from vacation, and now there's more activity in the house. I'm making new friendships with people at work, not to mention all my adopted grandmas! And then there's that nervous excitement I have about college!
This has just been one of those weeks. Emotions turn to thoughts, and my mind goes wild with them. I think everything in the world is against me, but then I remember to put my head on straight and act like the adult that I am.
Sorry again for my venting. Mom's asleep so I have no one to complain to except you guys. I'm trying to come up with topics or prompts for this blog. Obviously, I've got nothing so far.
*sigh* Thanks for reading! Hopefully a better one next time.......
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Sunday, July 14, 2013
Home is Where the Heart is:)
You've all heard the phrase, but have you really considered it?
Let's take the heart. What does it represent? Love, obviously, but what more??? Life, freedom, emotion, passion.
We have the freedom to have a home to come home to. We have life to enjoy to the fullest. Emotion (and blood of course) courses through our veins. We're human! We feel excitement, passion, joy, feelings. And while the heart doesn't actually control those, it represents them.
So our heart, all things love and emotion, is at our home? Then what is home? Not just a house. It's where the people we love reside. Whether mansion or apartment or box in the streets. Home is where our heart is.
We are so blessed to be able to call a place home. Some people don't have a house or family.
I can't imagine being cut off from my family. This morning my nephew Micah was baptized and we went to my sister and her husband's house afterwards to celebrate. Imagine not having those opportunities. What if I didn't have a home to put my heart in?
My family knows me better than anyone on this planet. What if I didn't have people who knew me for who I really was? Hadn't watched me grow up. Hadn't laughed with me, cried with me, or loved me.
Home is where the heart is, and every human being deserves a home for their heart.
Let's take the heart. What does it represent? Love, obviously, but what more??? Life, freedom, emotion, passion.
We have the freedom to have a home to come home to. We have life to enjoy to the fullest. Emotion (and blood of course) courses through our veins. We're human! We feel excitement, passion, joy, feelings. And while the heart doesn't actually control those, it represents them.
So our heart, all things love and emotion, is at our home? Then what is home? Not just a house. It's where the people we love reside. Whether mansion or apartment or box in the streets. Home is where our heart is.
We are so blessed to be able to call a place home. Some people don't have a house or family.
I can't imagine being cut off from my family. This morning my nephew Micah was baptized and we went to my sister and her husband's house afterwards to celebrate. Imagine not having those opportunities. What if I didn't have a home to put my heart in?
My family knows me better than anyone on this planet. What if I didn't have people who knew me for who I really was? Hadn't watched me grow up. Hadn't laughed with me, cried with me, or loved me.
Home is where the heart is, and every human being deserves a home for their heart.
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Drama at the ol' folks home
Sometimes my job is just too funny. Imagine being in the same nursing home as your mother-in-law. Seeing her at every meal, every activity, and her living only a few doors down the hall. If you're wondering if this is true of one resident where I work, then you assume correctly! Poor woman...
And then there's the residents who can't sit still at dinner, even when you lock their wheels. They eat five bites of dinner and try to leave, bumping the residents next to them. Yup, then the old lady claws come out. Drama, drama, drama....:)
And have I mentioned the residents who think they need to pee every five minutes? You take them to the bathroom and, since they have nothing to do, they put their call light on a few minutes later, thinking they have to go again! And I haven't even mentioned the wanderers that go into other resident's rooms and start stripping. Yikes! Or the residents who cheat at bingo...need I say more???
When I think about it, living with twenty other women in one hall and sharing a dining room and everything would get quite annoying. And it seems like when one resident is crabby, they're all crabby! You'd think they still got their periods or something.....
I don't want to come off as complaining about my job, I really do love it! And I'm thankful for it. Thanks for reading! Kind of a random/small post today:)
And then there's the residents who can't sit still at dinner, even when you lock their wheels. They eat five bites of dinner and try to leave, bumping the residents next to them. Yup, then the old lady claws come out. Drama, drama, drama....:)
And have I mentioned the residents who think they need to pee every five minutes? You take them to the bathroom and, since they have nothing to do, they put their call light on a few minutes later, thinking they have to go again! And I haven't even mentioned the wanderers that go into other resident's rooms and start stripping. Yikes! Or the residents who cheat at bingo...need I say more???
When I think about it, living with twenty other women in one hall and sharing a dining room and everything would get quite annoying. And it seems like when one resident is crabby, they're all crabby! You'd think they still got their periods or something.....
I don't want to come off as complaining about my job, I really do love it! And I'm thankful for it. Thanks for reading! Kind of a random/small post today:)
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
Questions....
Why do some people drive so slow?
Why aren't cool things free?
Why is junk food so delicious?
Why are certain people so darn annoying???
Why is Christian education so expensive?
Why is change sometimes so difficult?
Why has society been morphed into the mess that it has?
WHY AM I AFRAID OF ROLLER COASTERS???
Why is it hard to talk to new people?
Why is leaving such a difficult word?
Why is my car balding? (bad paint job)
Why are my eyes so ITCHY??? Oh wait, it's the allergies....
Why do people make fun of each other?
Why do we complain???
WHY DO WE QUESTION????????
Cast all your cares upon Him.......
Why aren't cool things free?
Why is junk food so delicious?
Why are certain people so darn annoying???
Why is Christian education so expensive?
Why is change sometimes so difficult?
Why has society been morphed into the mess that it has?
WHY AM I AFRAID OF ROLLER COASTERS???
Why is it hard to talk to new people?
Why is leaving such a difficult word?
Why is my car balding? (bad paint job)
Why are my eyes so ITCHY??? Oh wait, it's the allergies....
Why do people make fun of each other?
Why do we complain???
WHY DO WE QUESTION????????
Cast all your cares upon Him.......
Fading from now
It's the end of the movie.
The cowboy is slowly sauntering towards the blazing sunset. Dust, heat waves, and emotions rising.
The camera flashes to the passionate girl. The friendly store clerk. The loyal friend. And even the stubborn yet thankful mayor.
The feeling? He will be missed. He made an impact. But it's time for him to go.
That's his story, but mine is slightly different.
He knows he is drifting, walking away. He is willingly fading into the distance. From one life to the next. One challenge to another. One path, branching off.
But my story is more of a realization. I didn't choose to drift. I didn't want to fade. But, like many things in life, it just happened. Poof! Bam! Shabang!!! *Insert magical special effect here*
Between being ready to leave and forge my own path and not feeling that friendly connectedness. Conversations are forced, as are smiles, even with friends. It seems that every new person I meet, pulls apart a relationship I've already created. I guess that's another side effect of change.
Being out of my comfort zone is suddenly comfortable. Usually change is a fear, but now it's a desire. Let me explore. Let me put myself out there. Let me breathe. Let me experience.
A shift has occurred. This movie is over. The end is near which will only give way to an even better beginning. A new movie. A sequel perhaps?
The cowboy has decided to walk away and start over, and I feel compelled to fall into the new beginnings ahead of me.
He is kicking up dust with his spurs. Forging a new path. And I am stepping forward, into a new beginning............
(in my boat shoes of course! haha, thanks for reading)
The cowboy is slowly sauntering towards the blazing sunset. Dust, heat waves, and emotions rising.
The camera flashes to the passionate girl. The friendly store clerk. The loyal friend. And even the stubborn yet thankful mayor.
The feeling? He will be missed. He made an impact. But it's time for him to go.
That's his story, but mine is slightly different.
He knows he is drifting, walking away. He is willingly fading into the distance. From one life to the next. One challenge to another. One path, branching off.
But my story is more of a realization. I didn't choose to drift. I didn't want to fade. But, like many things in life, it just happened. Poof! Bam! Shabang!!! *Insert magical special effect here*
Between being ready to leave and forge my own path and not feeling that friendly connectedness. Conversations are forced, as are smiles, even with friends. It seems that every new person I meet, pulls apart a relationship I've already created. I guess that's another side effect of change.
Being out of my comfort zone is suddenly comfortable. Usually change is a fear, but now it's a desire. Let me explore. Let me put myself out there. Let me breathe. Let me experience.
A shift has occurred. This movie is over. The end is near which will only give way to an even better beginning. A new movie. A sequel perhaps?
The cowboy has decided to walk away and start over, and I feel compelled to fall into the new beginnings ahead of me.
He is kicking up dust with his spurs. Forging a new path. And I am stepping forward, into a new beginning............
(in my boat shoes of course! haha, thanks for reading)
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