Today I needed to be broken down to be built up.
Why?
I am a worrier.
I struggle with letting go of the little things.
I want to be in control.
Throughout my life I have gotten extremely good about worrying and then suppressing those worries and never sharing them.
But do you know what happens when your cup of worries gets full and you try to cram more in?
You guessed it: it spills over in a sudden rush of helplessness, loneliness, pain, and frustration.
Tonight I had one of these "holy-breakdown-tears-everywhere" kind of moments during Outcry.
All the songs seemed to point right at my situation. It was like God was grabbing me by the shoulders and saying "Hey. This is for you. Are you listening?"
I hate crying in public, but this experience was such a blessing. I felt the beauty of a simple hug, a rub on the back, or an encouraging gesture.
I felt the love of Trinity.
I felt the love of Christ.
And that is simply amazing.
"Cast all your cares on the Lord, and He will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken." -Psalm 55:22
This was the message I felt tonight. We can't let worries, no matter how large or important, get in the way of our simple life mission: to serve Christ with our lives and become the person He wants us to be with the purpose He wants us to fulfill.
Thursday, November 20, 2014
Thursday, November 6, 2014
Conquerors
I like to consider myself a determined person, but man is it difficult to makes one's dreams come true!
I have wanted to be a nurse for so long. You know when you're a kid, and everyone asks you all the time what you want to be when you grow up? I always changed my answer: an artist, astronaut, writer, vet. My answer changed, but my true dream didn't. Being a nurse was always the goal.
You know what stinks about conquering a mountain? There are innumerable obstacles to get past. You beat yourself up, get frustrated, and think it would be better if you just quit.
And in life, we aren't conquering one mountain at a time, but many. Becoming a nurse is an obvious one in my life, but others exist as well. Tomorrow night (actually, tonight, seeing as how I'm writing this at 1:42am) our play Richard III opens. Our cast, crew, and director have all worked our butts off to pull off this monster of a production. I'm so proud of everyone and can't wait until we can prove what Trinity theatre can do.
Another mountain to conquer is work. Frankly, paying for Christian college is awful, and I'm struggling to get past this part of the hike. But, like all obstacles, future success depends on whether or not I conquer this.
There are some little mountains that occasionally pop up. Lack of sleep is a biggy, especially this week with dress-rehearsals every night. It's also hard for me to keep my tired, snappy mouth shut during a frustrating day of classes or a particular professor is getting on my nerves. I feel so defeated by feelings of guilt when I fail myself and give in to that rude comment or not being the kind, helpful person I should strive to be.
Mountains are tall, rocky, dangerous, and difficult. And they are for a reason.
Right now I'm running on adrenaline, pumping myself with fake joy. But inside I feel exhausted, distraught, helpless, and anxious. I started this post with one idea in mind, but of course it changed as my fingers tapped the keys. The words they typed led my brain to think of the beautiful passage we are given in Romans 8:
31 What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? 33 Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. 34 Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36 As it is written:
Rocks are hide to climb. Without good footing and consistent strength, it seems impossible to conquer the mountain. This passage is what's getting me through. I don't know God's will, but I'm praying He helps me conquer this mountain.
I have wanted to be a nurse for so long. You know when you're a kid, and everyone asks you all the time what you want to be when you grow up? I always changed my answer: an artist, astronaut, writer, vet. My answer changed, but my true dream didn't. Being a nurse was always the goal.
You know what stinks about conquering a mountain? There are innumerable obstacles to get past. You beat yourself up, get frustrated, and think it would be better if you just quit.
And in life, we aren't conquering one mountain at a time, but many. Becoming a nurse is an obvious one in my life, but others exist as well. Tomorrow night (actually, tonight, seeing as how I'm writing this at 1:42am) our play Richard III opens. Our cast, crew, and director have all worked our butts off to pull off this monster of a production. I'm so proud of everyone and can't wait until we can prove what Trinity theatre can do.
Another mountain to conquer is work. Frankly, paying for Christian college is awful, and I'm struggling to get past this part of the hike. But, like all obstacles, future success depends on whether or not I conquer this.
There are some little mountains that occasionally pop up. Lack of sleep is a biggy, especially this week with dress-rehearsals every night. It's also hard for me to keep my tired, snappy mouth shut during a frustrating day of classes or a particular professor is getting on my nerves. I feel so defeated by feelings of guilt when I fail myself and give in to that rude comment or not being the kind, helpful person I should strive to be.
Mountains are tall, rocky, dangerous, and difficult. And they are for a reason.
Right now I'm running on adrenaline, pumping myself with fake joy. But inside I feel exhausted, distraught, helpless, and anxious. I started this post with one idea in mind, but of course it changed as my fingers tapped the keys. The words they typed led my brain to think of the beautiful passage we are given in Romans 8:
31 What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? 33 Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. 34 Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36 As it is written:
37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[b] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Rocks are hide to climb. Without good footing and consistent strength, it seems impossible to conquer the mountain. This passage is what's getting me through. I don't know God's will, but I'm praying He helps me conquer this mountain.
Thursday, October 16, 2014
Coffee and anatomy and blogging and........
Growing up just plains stinks sometimes.
Suddenly we're hit with more responsibilities, to-do lists, and thoughts concerning the future.
We learned how to play nice when we were young, but now we have to respect people who might have characteristics we do not consider respectable.
We have to think about what we actually need because we don't receive a weekly allowance from mommy and daddy anymore. (which was never something I experienced anyway)
There are places to be, people to converse with, and many things, oh so many things, to learn!
Mom doesn't do the dishes anymore.
That shower full of four girls' hair? Yeah, that's all yours!
Conflict? Confrontation? Chaos? Yup, you have to be all over that.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Can I just go back to coloring? Sometimes this just drives me nuts!
What if I just want to binge on Netflix all evening? Technically there's no one to stop me.
But that's where the adult side of me lashes out and turns my conscience against me.
"What do you think you're doing? You need to study! How the heck are you going to be a nurse with a lazy attitude like that?!?"
This is where I'm at right now. It's 10:20pm. I have an Anatomy and Physiology exam tomorrow.
I also just made the mistake of drinking a very large coffee beverage. Caffeinated. Whoops.
There's drama here, dishes there, and so many distractions everywhere!
Soooo, that's why I'm blogging right now. I'm in my prime studying time, and I'm simply piddling around on my laptop.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It's amazing how much a simple conflict can fill your mind.
I just love when I can't focus at the moments when focus is most necessary.
Hmm, maybe it's time for some yoga and devotions.....
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Random post, but thanks for the read:)
Suddenly we're hit with more responsibilities, to-do lists, and thoughts concerning the future.
We learned how to play nice when we were young, but now we have to respect people who might have characteristics we do not consider respectable.
We have to think about what we actually need because we don't receive a weekly allowance from mommy and daddy anymore. (which was never something I experienced anyway)
There are places to be, people to converse with, and many things, oh so many things, to learn!
Mom doesn't do the dishes anymore.
That shower full of four girls' hair? Yeah, that's all yours!
Conflict? Confrontation? Chaos? Yup, you have to be all over that.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Can I just go back to coloring? Sometimes this just drives me nuts!
What if I just want to binge on Netflix all evening? Technically there's no one to stop me.
But that's where the adult side of me lashes out and turns my conscience against me.
"What do you think you're doing? You need to study! How the heck are you going to be a nurse with a lazy attitude like that?!?"
This is where I'm at right now. It's 10:20pm. I have an Anatomy and Physiology exam tomorrow.
I also just made the mistake of drinking a very large coffee beverage. Caffeinated. Whoops.
There's drama here, dishes there, and so many distractions everywhere!
Soooo, that's why I'm blogging right now. I'm in my prime studying time, and I'm simply piddling around on my laptop.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It's amazing how much a simple conflict can fill your mind.
I just love when I can't focus at the moments when focus is most necessary.
Hmm, maybe it's time for some yoga and devotions.....
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Random post, but thanks for the read:)
Sunday, October 12, 2014
Jumping in
16 years.
16 years have been spent here.
Growing.
Learning.
Exploring.
Living.
16 years in the DeMotte/Roselawn area.
That's a long time, people!
And now God is calling us elsewhere.
I guess it's time for an adventure.
------------------------------------------------------
Sure St. John isn't all that far from here, but still. To uproot ourselves from the place we've called home for so long is a pretty scary thing, and lots of prayers are needed.
First, I know I'll be praying for Community Church, which has been our home for so long. I pray that our leaving may not be seen as a stumbling block to them, but a chance to continue on the growth path they appear to going down. The church is a team. Losing one part of that team can't be the end of progress.
Second, I'm asking for prayers for Pathway Church, which we'll be joining in a few months. Pray that this church that has been wanting to sprout can finally have the leadership it needs to make that happen. I know it's intimidating to take on a new leadership role, but I hope that through the work of the congregation, in partnership with my dad, we can make something truly awesome happen.
Third, I would really appreciate prayers for my family. I was three when we moved to Roselawn, so my brothers and I have no idea what it's like to move. Pray that our family can work together well to be able to smoothly pull off this transition. Right now, I have no clue what's going to happen. Where will we live? Where are my mom and I going to work now? Can Caleb and Dylan still be as involved at school as they are now? Are we waiting to move until summer?
At this point, I have to remind myself to stop letting questions bog me down. With so much going on, so many thoughts to struggle with, it's difficult to be thankful for the opportunity my dad has in going to Pathway.
So I'm simply asking for prayer. For Community, for Pathway, and for our family.
It's time for some change. It's scary, but we might as well jump in!
Thanks for reading:)
16 years have been spent here.
Growing.
Learning.
Exploring.
Living.
16 years in the DeMotte/Roselawn area.
That's a long time, people!
And now God is calling us elsewhere.
I guess it's time for an adventure.
------------------------------------------------------
Sure St. John isn't all that far from here, but still. To uproot ourselves from the place we've called home for so long is a pretty scary thing, and lots of prayers are needed.
First, I know I'll be praying for Community Church, which has been our home for so long. I pray that our leaving may not be seen as a stumbling block to them, but a chance to continue on the growth path they appear to going down. The church is a team. Losing one part of that team can't be the end of progress.
Second, I'm asking for prayers for Pathway Church, which we'll be joining in a few months. Pray that this church that has been wanting to sprout can finally have the leadership it needs to make that happen. I know it's intimidating to take on a new leadership role, but I hope that through the work of the congregation, in partnership with my dad, we can make something truly awesome happen.
Third, I would really appreciate prayers for my family. I was three when we moved to Roselawn, so my brothers and I have no idea what it's like to move. Pray that our family can work together well to be able to smoothly pull off this transition. Right now, I have no clue what's going to happen. Where will we live? Where are my mom and I going to work now? Can Caleb and Dylan still be as involved at school as they are now? Are we waiting to move until summer?
At this point, I have to remind myself to stop letting questions bog me down. With so much going on, so many thoughts to struggle with, it's difficult to be thankful for the opportunity my dad has in going to Pathway.
So I'm simply asking for prayer. For Community, for Pathway, and for our family.
It's time for some change. It's scary, but we might as well jump in!
Thanks for reading:)
Tuesday, October 7, 2014
Oh, micro...the things we can learn!
I feel that this is how school sometimes works: the classes that are the most interesting to you, also happen to be the most difficult.
Anyone else experience this?
Sciences are extremely fascinating to me, but are also the classes that require the most work. Today, I am studying for my third microbiology exam of the semester and also an anatomy and physiology lab practical over all the bones of the body. (Welcome to the life of a nursing major!)
It seems as though when my brain is feeling swollen, I am struck the with the sheer awe and power of the material. For instance, one chapter covered on our micro exam is on HIV and AIDS. You think you know a good bit about HIV and other diseases...that is, until you cover them in microbiology.
Some of this information is just so crazy, I had to share. If you don't feel like being depressed and bogged down by some shocking and scary scientific information that applies to so much of our population, feel free to browse the web elsewhere. If you feel brave enough to continue reading, go you:)
(By the way, I'm not taking credit for digging up this information. It's material we discussed in class.)
I hate to say of a virus that it is impressive, but when thinking about HIV, it really is! It's odd to start at the end of the equation, but I will anyway. To kill the HIV virus, it takes a specific cocktail of drugs. And these drugs are super complex and expensive. This is because, to kill HIV, it's not enough to just damage one part. You have to kill every part of HIV to kill it. This drug cocktail is referred to as HAART, Highly Active Anti-Retroviral Therapy. These drugs include reverse transcriptase inhibitors, protease inhibitors, integrase inhibitors, and fusion inhibitors. With these drugs, HIV will not be able to fuse with our cells, make copies of its RNA, combine its genome into ours, or make functional proteins. Hitting HIV with one drug is nothing. HIV will simply evolve around it. That's amazing! Scary, but amazing.
Now that you see what we're dealing with, lets check out the order of symptoms and phases of infection.
Phase 1 lasts from the time of infection to 3 years (approximately). During this time, one can be asymptomatic (showing no symptoms) or experience what is called ARS, which is Acute Retroviral Syndrome. The symptoms of this can vary between flu-like symptoms, confusion, up to seizures. The scary thing about this phase is the fact that you can show no symptoms or experience symptoms that disappear after awhile before you hit phase two.
In phase 2, years 3-8, the amount of cells that work to kill viruses are steadily declining. The virus is reproducing aggressively, but can barely be traced in the blood, so it goes almost undetected, except through possible symptoms. The symptoms are termed LAS, which stands for Lymphadenopathy Syndrome. This is basically persistent enlargement of the lymph nodes.
Phase 3 lasts from year 8 until the death of the victim. The cells that kill viruses are basically wiped out. This is when the person acquires AIDS and AIDS Related Complex. The person is more prone to opportunistic infections because their immune system is so compromised. They may experience fever, weight loss, fatigue, diarrhea, even dementia before one of the infections takes their life.
Why am I sharing this? Sure it helps me study to talk through everything, but I also feel like people should know what an insanely devastating disease this is and how much of our world it affects.
According to the World Health Organization, there were over 7000 new HIV infections per day in 2010. About 97% of those infected were from low to middle income countries. About 1000 were children under 15 years of age. A good majority of the rest are young people between the ages of 15 and 24.
The main methods of transmission of HIV are through accidental needle sticks and blood transfusions. Some simple ways to prevent the transmission of this awful virus include safe sex (abstinence is even better!), not using IV drugs, using Anti-Retroviral Therapy on expectant mothers, and of course: not sharing needles.And while prices for the necessary drug cocktail have gone down some, it is still extremely expensive for people in areas most affected by HIV and AIDS, like Sub-Sahara Africa and India.
A modeling study from 2011 estimated that through a combination of HIV prevention methods and Anti-Retroviral therapy coverage for 80% of patients could reduce the number of people acquiring HIV from more than 3 million per year to 1.2 million by 2025. Read that sentence again. Isn't it astounding?
So what's our biggest obstacle? Cost and the fact that most infected people are in poor, underdeveloped countries with no possible access to the drugs necessary to kill HIV.
And there's the sad truth of it all.
We have ways of at least slowing down this disease, but the people who need to most help can't get it.
So is anyone doing anything? We can't stop there!
Thankfully the World Health Organization is moving us forward. According to them, since 2001, there has been a 24% reduction in the number of HIV infections in infants. That's so huge! However, 10 million people who are eligible for treatment still do not have access to it. And that's the driving factor here.
I greatly appreciate this quote from WHO (World Health Organization) Director, Dr. Margaret Chan:
"We know what needs to be done, and we have a new strategy to do it more efficiently......The vision for a new generation free from HIV/AIDS is within our reach. We must work together to enhance our response to HIVand achieve universal access to HIV services for all who need them."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Praise be to God!
Thanks for reading:)
Anyone else experience this?
Sciences are extremely fascinating to me, but are also the classes that require the most work. Today, I am studying for my third microbiology exam of the semester and also an anatomy and physiology lab practical over all the bones of the body. (Welcome to the life of a nursing major!)
It seems as though when my brain is feeling swollen, I am struck the with the sheer awe and power of the material. For instance, one chapter covered on our micro exam is on HIV and AIDS. You think you know a good bit about HIV and other diseases...that is, until you cover them in microbiology.
Some of this information is just so crazy, I had to share. If you don't feel like being depressed and bogged down by some shocking and scary scientific information that applies to so much of our population, feel free to browse the web elsewhere. If you feel brave enough to continue reading, go you:)
(By the way, I'm not taking credit for digging up this information. It's material we discussed in class.)
I hate to say of a virus that it is impressive, but when thinking about HIV, it really is! It's odd to start at the end of the equation, but I will anyway. To kill the HIV virus, it takes a specific cocktail of drugs. And these drugs are super complex and expensive. This is because, to kill HIV, it's not enough to just damage one part. You have to kill every part of HIV to kill it. This drug cocktail is referred to as HAART, Highly Active Anti-Retroviral Therapy. These drugs include reverse transcriptase inhibitors, protease inhibitors, integrase inhibitors, and fusion inhibitors. With these drugs, HIV will not be able to fuse with our cells, make copies of its RNA, combine its genome into ours, or make functional proteins. Hitting HIV with one drug is nothing. HIV will simply evolve around it. That's amazing! Scary, but amazing.
Now that you see what we're dealing with, lets check out the order of symptoms and phases of infection.
Phase 1 lasts from the time of infection to 3 years (approximately). During this time, one can be asymptomatic (showing no symptoms) or experience what is called ARS, which is Acute Retroviral Syndrome. The symptoms of this can vary between flu-like symptoms, confusion, up to seizures. The scary thing about this phase is the fact that you can show no symptoms or experience symptoms that disappear after awhile before you hit phase two.
In phase 2, years 3-8, the amount of cells that work to kill viruses are steadily declining. The virus is reproducing aggressively, but can barely be traced in the blood, so it goes almost undetected, except through possible symptoms. The symptoms are termed LAS, which stands for Lymphadenopathy Syndrome. This is basically persistent enlargement of the lymph nodes.
Phase 3 lasts from year 8 until the death of the victim. The cells that kill viruses are basically wiped out. This is when the person acquires AIDS and AIDS Related Complex. The person is more prone to opportunistic infections because their immune system is so compromised. They may experience fever, weight loss, fatigue, diarrhea, even dementia before one of the infections takes their life.
Why am I sharing this? Sure it helps me study to talk through everything, but I also feel like people should know what an insanely devastating disease this is and how much of our world it affects.
According to the World Health Organization, there were over 7000 new HIV infections per day in 2010. About 97% of those infected were from low to middle income countries. About 1000 were children under 15 years of age. A good majority of the rest are young people between the ages of 15 and 24.
The main methods of transmission of HIV are through accidental needle sticks and blood transfusions. Some simple ways to prevent the transmission of this awful virus include safe sex (abstinence is even better!), not using IV drugs, using Anti-Retroviral Therapy on expectant mothers, and of course: not sharing needles.And while prices for the necessary drug cocktail have gone down some, it is still extremely expensive for people in areas most affected by HIV and AIDS, like Sub-Sahara Africa and India.
A modeling study from 2011 estimated that through a combination of HIV prevention methods and Anti-Retroviral therapy coverage for 80% of patients could reduce the number of people acquiring HIV from more than 3 million per year to 1.2 million by 2025. Read that sentence again. Isn't it astounding?
So what's our biggest obstacle? Cost and the fact that most infected people are in poor, underdeveloped countries with no possible access to the drugs necessary to kill HIV.
And there's the sad truth of it all.
We have ways of at least slowing down this disease, but the people who need to most help can't get it.
So is anyone doing anything? We can't stop there!
Thankfully the World Health Organization is moving us forward. According to them, since 2001, there has been a 24% reduction in the number of HIV infections in infants. That's so huge! However, 10 million people who are eligible for treatment still do not have access to it. And that's the driving factor here.
I greatly appreciate this quote from WHO (World Health Organization) Director, Dr. Margaret Chan:
"We know what needs to be done, and we have a new strategy to do it more efficiently......The vision for a new generation free from HIV/AIDS is within our reach. We must work together to enhance our response to HIVand achieve universal access to HIV services for all who need them."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Praise be to God!
Thanks for reading:)
Monday, September 29, 2014
I'm just existing
It just gets so lonely in here.
I'm not allowed to go anywhere, see anyone.
I don't even know where I am anymore.
How long have I been here?
Does anyone visit?
I hate being such a bother to you.
I wish I could just help myself.
Is there anything to do besides sit around or look out the window?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
This, folks, is stuff I hear far too often from my elderly residents. One of them even said to me: "It's not like I'm living anymore. I'm just existing." That hit me hard.
This is sad, people! I hate to rant, but sometimes this just gets me so frustrated. If you have a mom, dad, grandpa, grandma, or even great grandparents in a nursing home or assisted living, GO VISIT THEM.
It's not such a difficult thing to do, so why do so many family members forget it? I can list too many people who I love to help and talk to on a daily basis that never get visitors, and it's crushing them. And most people who do get visitors, sometimes only visit with them for 10 minutes, and then they're gone.
I'm living at school, trying to be productive, when sometimes all I can think about is how my residents are doing. I'm too scared to ask if anyone has passed away, even though I'll find out when I go in to work next anyway.
So far I've only met two residents who say they actually enjoy getting older. The rest either complain about it lightly or flat out hate getting old, wrinkly, and hard of hearing.
I think it would be great if we were a people with deeper respect and love for our aging relatives. Remember learning in 3rd grade that a whole Indian family, spanning up to four or five generations, would live in the same home? Wouldn't that be awesome if that's how our culture worked? I'm not saying move your grandparents in with you, but think about it.
I learn so much from my residents. Imagine what you could learn if you put a little more time or effort into relationships with the elderly.
Think about it. We're all just existing (until Jesus comes again!). So why not exist together?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
I know this was super random, but hey, sometimes that's how the human brain works.
Thanks for reading:)
I'm not allowed to go anywhere, see anyone.
I don't even know where I am anymore.
How long have I been here?
Does anyone visit?
I hate being such a bother to you.
I wish I could just help myself.
Is there anything to do besides sit around or look out the window?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
This, folks, is stuff I hear far too often from my elderly residents. One of them even said to me: "It's not like I'm living anymore. I'm just existing." That hit me hard.
This is sad, people! I hate to rant, but sometimes this just gets me so frustrated. If you have a mom, dad, grandpa, grandma, or even great grandparents in a nursing home or assisted living, GO VISIT THEM.
It's not such a difficult thing to do, so why do so many family members forget it? I can list too many people who I love to help and talk to on a daily basis that never get visitors, and it's crushing them. And most people who do get visitors, sometimes only visit with them for 10 minutes, and then they're gone.
I'm living at school, trying to be productive, when sometimes all I can think about is how my residents are doing. I'm too scared to ask if anyone has passed away, even though I'll find out when I go in to work next anyway.
So far I've only met two residents who say they actually enjoy getting older. The rest either complain about it lightly or flat out hate getting old, wrinkly, and hard of hearing.
I think it would be great if we were a people with deeper respect and love for our aging relatives. Remember learning in 3rd grade that a whole Indian family, spanning up to four or five generations, would live in the same home? Wouldn't that be awesome if that's how our culture worked? I'm not saying move your grandparents in with you, but think about it.
I learn so much from my residents. Imagine what you could learn if you put a little more time or effort into relationships with the elderly.
Think about it. We're all just existing (until Jesus comes again!). So why not exist together?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
I know this was super random, but hey, sometimes that's how the human brain works.
Thanks for reading:)
Monday, September 22, 2014
*vague title using words to do with clouds and mountains*.........?
How are you today?
Fine.
What are you up to?
Oh, nothing. Just homework.
How are you feeling?
Fine.
Anything cool going on in your life right now?
Not really.
I try to be a cheery person, but sometimes I fall into the sad pattern of giving vague, worthless answers to simple questions.
What's the source?
---------------------------------------------
My head is cloudy. That's all I can say.
I wake up, go to class, work, talk with friends, do homework. They call it the "daily grind."
And I've tripped right into a huge puddle of it.
I'm in God's word, I'm exercising, I'm practicing time-management.
I should feel like the mountain climber that finally reached the top!
And yet my head is cloudy.
Do I know why?
Maybe. But maybe not.
---------------------------------------------
Maybe I do know.
Have you ever discovered something or were told something, and it occupied your thoughts for days on end?
That's what I'm experiencing right now.
And I'm trying really hard not to believe this, but I think this is why my head is cloudy.
Yeah, that must be it.
That's why my head is cloudy.
I guess there are clouds even at the top of the mountain.
----------------------------------------------
And now to find a solution.....
Fine.
What are you up to?
Oh, nothing. Just homework.
How are you feeling?
Fine.
Anything cool going on in your life right now?
Not really.
I try to be a cheery person, but sometimes I fall into the sad pattern of giving vague, worthless answers to simple questions.
What's the source?
---------------------------------------------
My head is cloudy. That's all I can say.
I wake up, go to class, work, talk with friends, do homework. They call it the "daily grind."
And I've tripped right into a huge puddle of it.
I'm in God's word, I'm exercising, I'm practicing time-management.
I should feel like the mountain climber that finally reached the top!
And yet my head is cloudy.
Do I know why?
Maybe. But maybe not.
---------------------------------------------
Maybe I do know.
Have you ever discovered something or were told something, and it occupied your thoughts for days on end?
That's what I'm experiencing right now.
And I'm trying really hard not to believe this, but I think this is why my head is cloudy.
Yeah, that must be it.
That's why my head is cloudy.
I guess there are clouds even at the top of the mountain.
----------------------------------------------
And now to find a solution.....
Sunday, September 21, 2014
Needing some new air
Sometimes it's the simple things. A beautiful pink sunset, airplanes taking flight, homemade Indian food, making a friend's dad laugh, sitting on comfortable chairs in Best Buy, watching airplanes soar right above us on the highway, being exposed to Chinese flute music, and singing worship songs on the way home. This is what I call a retreat. Often it's not the planned retreats that give us the most benefit. Spontaneity is often what brings us back to where we need to be. Not necessarily in the present, but back to where we need to be. In appreciation of where God has placed us. Sometimes we need some new air.
This week has been a stressful one, and, upon examining my rather colorful schedule, it's only going to get more insane. It's moments like these, when I seem to be sinking into the quicksand of day-to-day life, that I unknowingly need to get away.
The most current installment of "I'm drowning, get me out of here" was solved by my beautiful roommate Alice. It took some convincing, but soon Alice, Anneliese, and I were on our way to Alice's house for some divine homemade Indian food and good old roommate conversation. It was nothing grand, yet it was the highlight of my week. Why? I think the answer is simply that we needed a break, and God provided a simple opportunity for us to get away and enjoy each other's company.
The best of times are always spent with the best of friends. I don't know what you think, but I feel that that's a quote floating around the internet said by some semi-famous person. No matter where it came from, I believe that it's true. An hour drive to and from a destination may at first seem annoying, especially since it wasn't a trip I needed to take. However, just because I was with friends I love, the drive was a blast, and I was actually sad when it ended.
It's amazing how the simplest, most spontaneous excursions are the most refreshing. It's like getting fresh air after being stuck inside all day.
But this trip was better than that.
It was better than fresh air.
It was like completely new air.
Which is I think what God wanted me to find.
New perspective.
New thoughts.
Completely new air.
This week has been a stressful one, and, upon examining my rather colorful schedule, it's only going to get more insane. It's moments like these, when I seem to be sinking into the quicksand of day-to-day life, that I unknowingly need to get away.
The most current installment of "I'm drowning, get me out of here" was solved by my beautiful roommate Alice. It took some convincing, but soon Alice, Anneliese, and I were on our way to Alice's house for some divine homemade Indian food and good old roommate conversation. It was nothing grand, yet it was the highlight of my week. Why? I think the answer is simply that we needed a break, and God provided a simple opportunity for us to get away and enjoy each other's company.
The best of times are always spent with the best of friends. I don't know what you think, but I feel that that's a quote floating around the internet said by some semi-famous person. No matter where it came from, I believe that it's true. An hour drive to and from a destination may at first seem annoying, especially since it wasn't a trip I needed to take. However, just because I was with friends I love, the drive was a blast, and I was actually sad when it ended.
It's amazing how the simplest, most spontaneous excursions are the most refreshing. It's like getting fresh air after being stuck inside all day.
But this trip was better than that.
It was better than fresh air.
It was like completely new air.
Which is I think what God wanted me to find.
New perspective.
New thoughts.
Completely new air.
Thursday, August 21, 2014
Thanks, Dad
People's reactions to my job often include a comment about all the death I see. Working in a nursing home, death does occur, but that doesn't mean it's a negative job. Actually, I love it!
One of the worst parts of my job is not death, it's the fact that people suffer and would prefer death over life. But what I am impressed with about suffering is seeing the strength that families of some of my residents exhibit when their strength is in the Lord.
These thoughts about death and faith were resurfaced as my dad was preaching this past Sunday. Almost every Christian has probably memorized Psalm 23 at some point in their life. But isn't it amazing when you read a familiar passage and something new jumps out at you?
1 The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
3 he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.
4 Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,[a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
One of the worst parts of my job is not death, it's the fact that people suffer and would prefer death over life. But what I am impressed with about suffering is seeing the strength that families of some of my residents exhibit when their strength is in the Lord.
These thoughts about death and faith were resurfaced as my dad was preaching this past Sunday. Almost every Christian has probably memorized Psalm 23 at some point in their life. But isn't it amazing when you read a familiar passage and something new jumps out at you?
1 The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
3 he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.
4 Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,[a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
6 Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
forever.
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
6 Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
forever.
This passage is truly incredible! But here's what my dad showed the congregation on Sunday. At first, David is talking about God in the third person, which is how you speak when that person isn't around.
But notice what happens in verse four: "I will fear no evil, for you are will me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." Another translation says: "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil". In verse four, David is now talking as if he is in the presence of God. It's as if, as David is passing through death, he now comes into the presence of God.
Looking at this passage in this new light makes me feel less sad about the death I see in my job. I can now imagine a passing resident, instead of being swallowed by death, simply lifted by God, right into His arms. Death is a scary place, but for Christians it also means that God is nearest to you than ever before.
I never really though of Psalm 23 as a psalm about death, but now that I understand, I see the beauty of it.
So thanks, Dad, for showing me a way to connect this passage to my life and even my work!
I guess parents really can be helpful sometimes;)
Thanks for reading!
Dedication
One more shift at work to get through.
A few more errands to run.
A lot more clothes to pack.
Soon a fresh school year shall commence.
I'm not usually one for New Year's resolutions because, as a student, I feel that the year begins at the end of August.
Therefore, I must now declare my "New Year's" (more like "school year's) resolutions.
This task is quite a simple one for me because it all falls under one word: dedication.
Classes this semester are no longer the simple blow-off gen-ed classes of freshmen year. It's time to get down to business. (*singing* Let's get down to business! To defeat....the Hunsssss)
I have two Biology classes and my first Nursing class to conquer, which in no way will be simple.
I also have a job on campus this summer, although it's not your typical on-campus job. It will require my CNA skills more than anything, which I love to use. It'll be time consuming, yet rewarding. I just need to keep reminding myself of the benefit and that I need to keep at it!
An area of my life that could definitely use some help in the dedication department is my physical health. I have been overweight since as long as I can remember, and did I ever like it? Absolutely not! And despite my efforts, it seems that my problem comes down to the fact that I am for some reason not displaying enough dedication to losing weight and becoming a more healthy human being. Last school year, I did well at working out often and eating healthier. I am proud to say that I lost the freshmen fifteen as opposed to gaining it! However, this summer, I have fallen back into old patterns and habits, which is simply no good. Time to hop on the band wagon and try again!
Another problem area is my faith. Well, not my faith exactly, my faith isn't what is faltering. Rather my devotional life is lacking in a steady rhythm. I mean, am I the only one who forgets to read the Bible everyday? Or is this a common struggle? If so, how in the world do I fix this problem? I know God is forgiving, but He has to get sick of forgiving me over and over for forgetting to read His word! I like reading my Bible, it's just that I forget! Simple as that. Something I've got to work on.
This year, I just want to be more dedicated to being a more well-rounded student. I want to exceed in my classes, but also be involved in social activities on campus. I want to reserve time for myself and my improvement, while also having an open door to friends and peers in need. I want to give time for my health: mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual. Overall, I want to be dedicated to maintaining the balance required in any person's life. I'm told that's what college is all about! Finding your balance, how you run things, and being able to maintain it.
Thanks for the read! :)
A few more errands to run.
A lot more clothes to pack.
Soon a fresh school year shall commence.
I'm not usually one for New Year's resolutions because, as a student, I feel that the year begins at the end of August.
Therefore, I must now declare my "New Year's" (more like "school year's) resolutions.
This task is quite a simple one for me because it all falls under one word: dedication.
Classes this semester are no longer the simple blow-off gen-ed classes of freshmen year. It's time to get down to business. (*singing* Let's get down to business! To defeat....the Hunsssss)
I have two Biology classes and my first Nursing class to conquer, which in no way will be simple.
I also have a job on campus this summer, although it's not your typical on-campus job. It will require my CNA skills more than anything, which I love to use. It'll be time consuming, yet rewarding. I just need to keep reminding myself of the benefit and that I need to keep at it!
An area of my life that could definitely use some help in the dedication department is my physical health. I have been overweight since as long as I can remember, and did I ever like it? Absolutely not! And despite my efforts, it seems that my problem comes down to the fact that I am for some reason not displaying enough dedication to losing weight and becoming a more healthy human being. Last school year, I did well at working out often and eating healthier. I am proud to say that I lost the freshmen fifteen as opposed to gaining it! However, this summer, I have fallen back into old patterns and habits, which is simply no good. Time to hop on the band wagon and try again!
Another problem area is my faith. Well, not my faith exactly, my faith isn't what is faltering. Rather my devotional life is lacking in a steady rhythm. I mean, am I the only one who forgets to read the Bible everyday? Or is this a common struggle? If so, how in the world do I fix this problem? I know God is forgiving, but He has to get sick of forgiving me over and over for forgetting to read His word! I like reading my Bible, it's just that I forget! Simple as that. Something I've got to work on.
This year, I just want to be more dedicated to being a more well-rounded student. I want to exceed in my classes, but also be involved in social activities on campus. I want to reserve time for myself and my improvement, while also having an open door to friends and peers in need. I want to give time for my health: mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual. Overall, I want to be dedicated to maintaining the balance required in any person's life. I'm told that's what college is all about! Finding your balance, how you run things, and being able to maintain it.
Thanks for the read! :)
Thursday, July 24, 2014
2 am thoughts
2 am. Upstairs. Assisted living. She's over 100 and still walking. 8 hours of being a lump on her couch. Bathroom trips for both when needed.
A ticking clock. Bible on the desk. A man praying on the wall.
What does one do while sitting up all night watching an elderly woman rest peacefully?
Poetry, based on my surroundings of course.
I am a fickle being; you are the sturdy vine
I am ever unfaithful; you love the runaway bride
I say the sun is mighty, while you are in control
I claim to be a saint, while mold spawns in my soul
Life seems so full, yet I feel empty inside
That's when you reach down, and I have nothing to hide
Before a thought has been birthed in my brain,
You know it completely, you feel all my pain
Because you know what we've been through, you've felt it before
You've seen how life beats us down and makes us so sore
I love you for that, only not every day
For I may be your child, but I tend to run away
So forgive me Father, please pull me back
For I need you here when I'm under attack
For the lion is lurking, and I am the prey
Protect me Father, under your wings I will stay
But don't ever forget me, for I could possibly stray
I am not proud of this, but that's simply the way
Christians sometimes are, which isn't right
So give us your strength as we fight the good fight
I'm not the greatest poet, but hey, when the Spirit moves you, you just have to write.
Thanks for reading, God bless:)
A ticking clock. Bible on the desk. A man praying on the wall.
What does one do while sitting up all night watching an elderly woman rest peacefully?
Poetry, based on my surroundings of course.
I am a fickle being; you are the sturdy vine
I am ever unfaithful; you love the runaway bride
I say the sun is mighty, while you are in control
I claim to be a saint, while mold spawns in my soul
Life seems so full, yet I feel empty inside
That's when you reach down, and I have nothing to hide
Before a thought has been birthed in my brain,
You know it completely, you feel all my pain
Because you know what we've been through, you've felt it before
You've seen how life beats us down and makes us so sore
I love you for that, only not every day
For I may be your child, but I tend to run away
So forgive me Father, please pull me back
For I need you here when I'm under attack
For the lion is lurking, and I am the prey
Protect me Father, under your wings I will stay
But don't ever forget me, for I could possibly stray
I am not proud of this, but that's simply the way
Christians sometimes are, which isn't right
So give us your strength as we fight the good fight
I'm not the greatest poet, but hey, when the Spirit moves you, you just have to write.
Thanks for reading, God bless:)
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
Stained to be pure
I have mixed feelings about my dad's day off. Usually it entails him waking us earlier than usual and setting us on jobs in yardwork and housework.
Yesterday, despite the rain, was no different. I went outside to find Dylan scraping old paint off the porch and later priming and painting it yet again. Caleb was sent to work on the shed.
My task? Staining wood to be put in our kitchen where we knocked out a wall this winter.
I had never stained wood before, but it seemed pretty simple after Dad explained it and showed me what to do.
I jumped right in, honestly feeling like an artist even though I was simply smearing a dark, sticky substance onto a board with a rag.
Double and triple checking the edges and the evenness, I continued until all the boards were successful and beautifully stained.
Dad came into the garage to evaluate my work, said it was okay, and proceeded to show me how to put on the shiny, sealant stuff. (Nice terminology, huh?)
After one coat yesterday, and another today. Dad seemed disappointed. I was scrubbing my hands with baby oil to get the sticky stuff off when he came in and said the wood wasn't dark enough.
'Not dark enough?' I thought. 'You said it was fine yesterday.'
Staring at the not-quite-perfect wood, I started thinking about the similarities between me and this plank.
Just wait, it'll make sense in a minute!
We start off like a simple blank piece of wood. Sure, we are already sinful, but other outside influences haven't found us yet, stained us if you will.
See what I'm saying?
We are vulnerable to outside influences, and as Christians we have to choose to allow only good influences in, like God and His word.
We need to dive into God's word to allow it to stain us, change us. But one coat is not enough, even after double and triple checking. Every time we read the Bible, we can learn something new. Even pastors learn new things when they study the Word. If we allow good things to seep into our souls, we will be ready for the sealant at the end of our lives, which will hopefully mean heaven rather than the hell that we deserve. And it's no quick feat, it requires a lot of time and diligence.
Let good things influence you. Let the Word seep into you every single day, no matter how difficult. God wants to stain us, which will actually make us more pure in His eyes.
I don't know if this metaphor made any sense to you, but it just popped into my head and something told me to share it:)
Thanks for reading!
Yesterday, despite the rain, was no different. I went outside to find Dylan scraping old paint off the porch and later priming and painting it yet again. Caleb was sent to work on the shed.
My task? Staining wood to be put in our kitchen where we knocked out a wall this winter.
I had never stained wood before, but it seemed pretty simple after Dad explained it and showed me what to do.
I jumped right in, honestly feeling like an artist even though I was simply smearing a dark, sticky substance onto a board with a rag.
Double and triple checking the edges and the evenness, I continued until all the boards were successful and beautifully stained.
Dad came into the garage to evaluate my work, said it was okay, and proceeded to show me how to put on the shiny, sealant stuff. (Nice terminology, huh?)
After one coat yesterday, and another today. Dad seemed disappointed. I was scrubbing my hands with baby oil to get the sticky stuff off when he came in and said the wood wasn't dark enough.
'Not dark enough?' I thought. 'You said it was fine yesterday.'
Staring at the not-quite-perfect wood, I started thinking about the similarities between me and this plank.
Just wait, it'll make sense in a minute!
We start off like a simple blank piece of wood. Sure, we are already sinful, but other outside influences haven't found us yet, stained us if you will.
See what I'm saying?
We are vulnerable to outside influences, and as Christians we have to choose to allow only good influences in, like God and His word.
We need to dive into God's word to allow it to stain us, change us. But one coat is not enough, even after double and triple checking. Every time we read the Bible, we can learn something new. Even pastors learn new things when they study the Word. If we allow good things to seep into our souls, we will be ready for the sealant at the end of our lives, which will hopefully mean heaven rather than the hell that we deserve. And it's no quick feat, it requires a lot of time and diligence.
Let good things influence you. Let the Word seep into you every single day, no matter how difficult. God wants to stain us, which will actually make us more pure in His eyes.
I don't know if this metaphor made any sense to you, but it just popped into my head and something told me to share it:)
Thanks for reading!
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
I loved it once more
It's all coming back to me.
The breeze.
The clean, open air.
Boom, got the comfy seat.
Zing!
Watch out for Dad!
Okay, he got it.
Good deal.
Fish on, baby!
Who's turn is it?
Mikayla, take the rod!
Oh! Guess I'm up, huh?
Boy, am I rusty or what?
Okay, keep the rod steady.
Tip down, tip down.
Okay, backing up.
Tip steady.
Come on, Dad, just net it already!
Holy moly, that's a big fish right there!
That's a...steelhead? Brown trout?
Great, I forgot how to identify my fish!
That's embarrassing.
Whew, my arms hurt.
Is it weird that I like the smell of fresh caught fish?
Whatever, I'm a nursing major.
I'm supposed to like weird stuff like that, right?
Whoa, another fish on!
Caleb, ya gotta watch out for Dad.
Almost got thrown over there!
That would've been hilarious.
Okay, Dylan's turn.
Man, this kid talks a lot.
Yes, Dylan, we know reeling makes your arms hurt.
Sheesh, enough commentary, just get the fish in the box.
Mikayla, you're turning!
Yeah, I'm turning cause driving this boat is such a pain!
I lost my landmark.
Oh, the smoke stacks, right.
Okay, back on track I think.
Mikayla, now you're too far left!
Sheesh, I don't know what I'm doing!
Now I remember why I hate driving.
Crap, I have to pee.
No!
I am not peeing in that bucket!
Wish we were hunting.
Then I could just pee behind a tree.
That's pretty easy.
What time is it?
Only eleven.
We've been fishing for over five hours already.
It really is beautiful on the lake today.
And one foot waves, wow, that's like nothing!
Mikayla, take the rod!
Oh! Another fish for me, okay.
Yowza, there's a beast on the other end!
Wow, my arm is burning.
Wonder how mad Dad would be if I just let go of the pole...
Hmm, should I try it?
No, not unless I want to move out early!
Yeah, that would be a very bad idea.
Man, is this fish close yet?
Oh! There it is, it jumped.
Fly, little fishy, fly!
Alright, almost there.
Dad's got the net, okay.
Oh, Caleb's netting?
Great.
Three years later, ha!
Come on, Caleb.
Do your thing.
Net it, man, net it!
Ahh, thank you.
Wow, my hands hurt!
Back to driving?
Guess I'm okay with that.
Just a few more hours.
We can do this.
Ya know, sometimes fishing can get annoying.
But I really do love it.
I feel like I'm twelve again.
I guess fishing is part of my history.
My family's history.
I remember the breeze.
I remember the clean, open air.
I remember how I loved it.
And I love it once more.
The breeze.
The clean, open air.
Boom, got the comfy seat.
Zing!
Watch out for Dad!
Okay, he got it.
Good deal.
Fish on, baby!
Who's turn is it?
Mikayla, take the rod!
Oh! Guess I'm up, huh?
Boy, am I rusty or what?
Okay, keep the rod steady.
Tip down, tip down.
Okay, backing up.
Tip steady.
Come on, Dad, just net it already!
Holy moly, that's a big fish right there!
That's a...steelhead? Brown trout?
Great, I forgot how to identify my fish!
That's embarrassing.
Whew, my arms hurt.
Is it weird that I like the smell of fresh caught fish?
Whatever, I'm a nursing major.
I'm supposed to like weird stuff like that, right?
Whoa, another fish on!
Caleb, ya gotta watch out for Dad.
Almost got thrown over there!
That would've been hilarious.
Okay, Dylan's turn.
Man, this kid talks a lot.
Yes, Dylan, we know reeling makes your arms hurt.
Sheesh, enough commentary, just get the fish in the box.
Mikayla, you're turning!
Yeah, I'm turning cause driving this boat is such a pain!
I lost my landmark.
Oh, the smoke stacks, right.
Okay, back on track I think.
Mikayla, now you're too far left!
Sheesh, I don't know what I'm doing!
Now I remember why I hate driving.
Crap, I have to pee.
No!
I am not peeing in that bucket!
Wish we were hunting.
Then I could just pee behind a tree.
That's pretty easy.
What time is it?
Only eleven.
We've been fishing for over five hours already.
It really is beautiful on the lake today.
And one foot waves, wow, that's like nothing!
Mikayla, take the rod!
Oh! Another fish for me, okay.
Yowza, there's a beast on the other end!
Wow, my arm is burning.
Wonder how mad Dad would be if I just let go of the pole...
Hmm, should I try it?
No, not unless I want to move out early!
Yeah, that would be a very bad idea.
Man, is this fish close yet?
Oh! There it is, it jumped.
Fly, little fishy, fly!
Alright, almost there.
Dad's got the net, okay.
Oh, Caleb's netting?
Great.
Three years later, ha!
Come on, Caleb.
Do your thing.
Net it, man, net it!
Ahh, thank you.
Wow, my hands hurt!
Back to driving?
Guess I'm okay with that.
Just a few more hours.
We can do this.
Ya know, sometimes fishing can get annoying.
But I really do love it.
I feel like I'm twelve again.
I guess fishing is part of my history.
My family's history.
I remember the breeze.
I remember the clean, open air.
I remember how I loved it.
And I love it once more.
Spreading some love
Everyone is capable of spreading some love and joy. It's all about waking up and deciding to do so. Recently I've seen some cool Coca-Cola commercials in which they use their product to cause a few more smiles in our world. Just thought I'd share some with ya! By the way, I'm not sharing these because I'm a Coca-Cola lover, I really don't drink much pop, I just like all the smiles in these videos. Enjoy!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlA9tXYxD8g This one's one of my favorites. Almost teared up, actually.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t9cmoT_wb0A This one is great because it's so true! Sometimes it's tough to start making friends in college.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lqT_dPApj9U I'm sharing this one simply because I wish it would happen at Trinity:)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A45sjUX7mp0 Ha! I love it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gfM9rIhxieU I love all the confused faces at the beginning.
I'm not a company or corporation, but I can still make people smile, and so can you.
Spread some joy today, it's as simple as that:)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlA9tXYxD8g This one's one of my favorites. Almost teared up, actually.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t9cmoT_wb0A This one is great because it's so true! Sometimes it's tough to start making friends in college.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lqT_dPApj9U I'm sharing this one simply because I wish it would happen at Trinity:)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A45sjUX7mp0 Ha! I love it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gfM9rIhxieU I love all the confused faces at the beginning.
I'm not a company or corporation, but I can still make people smile, and so can you.
Spread some joy today, it's as simple as that:)
Monday, May 19, 2014
In the dark
It was 3:30 pm.
The bingo-ers were hustling out of the activity room as fast as their little walkers and wheelchairs would take them. (I know what you're thinking, but some of them are actually pretty fast!)
A few of us CNA's were running the elevator system, working as efficiently as possible. (I'm a pro at filling the elevators, just saying.)
In the midst of the hustle, we saw a flicker and watched as the whole building lost power except the light in the elevator.
"Get them out!" someone said.
So we quickly got our residents out of the elevator, four in all.
The other aides rushed to their halls to get people's oxygen plugged into the working outlet. I was left upstairs to sit with the stranded residents.
"So," I started, "how'd we do at bingo today, ladies?"
It's refreshing to have a little chat with my residents once in a while. We talked about bingo, grandkids, family visits, and joked about who was going to be piggy-backed down the stairs first.
We decided we were very grateful that it was still light outside when the power went out, however it did stay off for another four hours. After realizing that the other elevator in the facility was connected to the generator, we got everyone back to their rightful places.
I've never heard the halls so quiet, even on midnights, as when the power was out. Throughout the night we had to do some major rearranging of resident's rooms to get either their beds or chairs plugged into the red plugs (which were the ones connected to the generator). Some of our residents were stuck in their recliners because the feet were lowered with a remote. I bet if a visitor had cruised through our hall, they would have wondered why they were seeing recliners and beds smack in the middle of resident's rooms!
It was quite a wonky day, if I may be honest. But I was surprised at how chill everyone was, for the most part. As we had dinner on paper and coffee in Styrofoam, we went around the room sharing what we were thankful for. That seemed to cheer people up.
Everybody has some type of interesting work story, so I figured I'd share my most recent one:)
In the midst of the craziness, we were told the cause of the power outage: a car accident. I'm not exactly sure what happened with the accident on 65, but my prayers go out to all the families and friends effected by it.
The bingo-ers were hustling out of the activity room as fast as their little walkers and wheelchairs would take them. (I know what you're thinking, but some of them are actually pretty fast!)
A few of us CNA's were running the elevator system, working as efficiently as possible. (I'm a pro at filling the elevators, just saying.)
In the midst of the hustle, we saw a flicker and watched as the whole building lost power except the light in the elevator.
"Get them out!" someone said.
So we quickly got our residents out of the elevator, four in all.
The other aides rushed to their halls to get people's oxygen plugged into the working outlet. I was left upstairs to sit with the stranded residents.
"So," I started, "how'd we do at bingo today, ladies?"
It's refreshing to have a little chat with my residents once in a while. We talked about bingo, grandkids, family visits, and joked about who was going to be piggy-backed down the stairs first.
We decided we were very grateful that it was still light outside when the power went out, however it did stay off for another four hours. After realizing that the other elevator in the facility was connected to the generator, we got everyone back to their rightful places.
I've never heard the halls so quiet, even on midnights, as when the power was out. Throughout the night we had to do some major rearranging of resident's rooms to get either their beds or chairs plugged into the red plugs (which were the ones connected to the generator). Some of our residents were stuck in their recliners because the feet were lowered with a remote. I bet if a visitor had cruised through our hall, they would have wondered why they were seeing recliners and beds smack in the middle of resident's rooms!
It was quite a wonky day, if I may be honest. But I was surprised at how chill everyone was, for the most part. As we had dinner on paper and coffee in Styrofoam, we went around the room sharing what we were thankful for. That seemed to cheer people up.
Everybody has some type of interesting work story, so I figured I'd share my most recent one:)
In the midst of the craziness, we were told the cause of the power outage: a car accident. I'm not exactly sure what happened with the accident on 65, but my prayers go out to all the families and friends effected by it.
Friday, May 16, 2014
1/4 over
Yowza, it's been forever since I've blogged! Sorry friends (mostly Dad) for the wait. I figured with classes and exams being done, I'd spend some time in reflection over what has happened this school year.
Never again will I be a freshman! Woo hoo:)
First and foremost, I have to say that I love my school. I've enjoyed most of my classes, events we have on campus are awesome, and the friendships I've made here are incredible. It's hard to believe that I only get three more short years here...*tear*
Trying to come up with a select few stories to share with you is proving to be rather difficult! I guess I will start with one of my favorite professors who, sadly, retired at the end of last semester. Dr. Breems was the best at incorporating random phrases into his lectures which, surprisingly, contributed to what he was communicating! I believe some examples are in order:
"Let's meet at the square and shut those suckers down!"
"They don't just call someone a son of a bitch."
"Like low-hanging pants...they might change your knowledge of human anatomy!"
"The Taliban has jokes too."
"There're no laws for bulls!"
"I don't have sharp teeth. I don't have the urge to kill. Well, I do have an urge to kill, it's just not the same."
"Or if you really know swords and happen to have yours with you, your fight instinct might be more powerful."
I don't remember the context for most of these, but does it really matter? It's still hilarious. These are all the quotes I have, but I should also note that Breems made us a powerpoint full of just puns. Long story short, Dr. Breems will be missed.
And then there's the super cool events Trinity has all year. Trollstock was so awesome! It's amazing how much talent thrives on this campus. There was music, dancing, comedy, and more. I was especially impressed by Callie Bunker, who read a story about a fart and won a prize. I was falling out of my chair laughing! My friend Nick and I were even scolded by another student for laughing too loud, which honestly occurs on a daily basis.
One aspect of college that I did not anticipate were all the late night laughing fits, which really just consisted of me rolling on the floor laughing until my sides ached and my roommates standing there, laughing at me laughing. Anneliese, Madz, and Erin: you guys should've seen your faces! I'm glad we had so many joyful times and jokes to share. Even though we often laughed until it hurt, I'm thankful for those crazy weird times.
What I at first thought was a pain in the butt actually turned out to be my favorite part of the year, and that is the fact that I lived in South Hall. For starters, there is no air conditioning in this building, and the bathrooms aren't that great, but South quickly became my home. I'm honestly going to miss this building...all the dance parties, genuine joy, and spontaneous trips to, well, wherever! At first us freshmen thought the whole "Social South" thing was a joke, but we soon discovered it was actually true. And now we're all Southies for life:)
OPUS was a super cool event, too. Basically students get to sign up to show off their academic projects and adventures they had throughout the year. It was awesome to listen to other student's presentations and projects. I'm glad there are so many students that are passionate about what they're learning, and they want to share it with others.
I think what I and most of my friends loved the most this year are the odd dinner/mealtime conversations. First of all, a majority of people in our group are nursing majors, which means conversation often turned to the grossest medical stories or experiences we can share with each other. I guess I should apologize to my friends like Nathan, Kyle, Sierra, and others we have possibly grossed out. But then again, this is never going to stop, especially when we're actually in the nursing program. Sorry guys! Three more years;) Although some of our weirdest cafeteria conversations were not caused by the nursing majors!
I'm so thankful for the family that I've developed at Trinity. If I need a laugh or have something serious to discuss, I know I have people to go to. I'm thankful for Alice constantly telling me I should get out and do something and not be such a responsible nerd. I'm thankful for Nick's hilarious sarcasm and jokes, even though it flies over other people's heads at times. I'm thankful for Anneliese's dry humor and the funny faces she makes, especially when annoyed. I'm thankful for Maddy's obnoxiousness. I'm thankful for Kylla's smile and constant joy. I'm thankful for Nathan's well-worded explanations for everything (English majors be like). I'm thankful for Sierra's bubbliness and, yes, even her need to sing almost every moment of the day. I'm thankful for Kyle's laugh and genuine love for fun. I'm thankful for Taylor's love of laughter and just plain silliness. There are many more people I've grown to love at Trinity, but to write about all of them would cause arthritis in my hands, so I shall refrain. Just know that while all my friends are off having their crazy, exciting adventures, they will be missed.
When I was little and our whole family was gathered around the table for dinner, Dad would always ask how our day was. Us kids would take turns reciting the generic answers: "good," "okay," "boring," and "not too much homework."
Now, if I was asked how my year was and I only had a few words to express it, I would say that this year was one of challenges and blessings. I had a lot of obstacles to conquer, but the benefits of my first year at Trinity are truly astounding.
Hard times and good times.
Stress filled days and moments of laughter.
Challenges and blessings.
"She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future." -Proverbs 31:25
Thanks for reading! Our college adventure is 1/4 over. Here's to the next 3/4ths!
Never again will I be a freshman! Woo hoo:)
First and foremost, I have to say that I love my school. I've enjoyed most of my classes, events we have on campus are awesome, and the friendships I've made here are incredible. It's hard to believe that I only get three more short years here...*tear*
Trying to come up with a select few stories to share with you is proving to be rather difficult! I guess I will start with one of my favorite professors who, sadly, retired at the end of last semester. Dr. Breems was the best at incorporating random phrases into his lectures which, surprisingly, contributed to what he was communicating! I believe some examples are in order:
"Let's meet at the square and shut those suckers down!"
"They don't just call someone a son of a bitch."
"Like low-hanging pants...they might change your knowledge of human anatomy!"
"The Taliban has jokes too."
"There're no laws for bulls!"
"I don't have sharp teeth. I don't have the urge to kill. Well, I do have an urge to kill, it's just not the same."
"Or if you really know swords and happen to have yours with you, your fight instinct might be more powerful."
I don't remember the context for most of these, but does it really matter? It's still hilarious. These are all the quotes I have, but I should also note that Breems made us a powerpoint full of just puns. Long story short, Dr. Breems will be missed.
And then there's the super cool events Trinity has all year. Trollstock was so awesome! It's amazing how much talent thrives on this campus. There was music, dancing, comedy, and more. I was especially impressed by Callie Bunker, who read a story about a fart and won a prize. I was falling out of my chair laughing! My friend Nick and I were even scolded by another student for laughing too loud, which honestly occurs on a daily basis.
One aspect of college that I did not anticipate were all the late night laughing fits, which really just consisted of me rolling on the floor laughing until my sides ached and my roommates standing there, laughing at me laughing. Anneliese, Madz, and Erin: you guys should've seen your faces! I'm glad we had so many joyful times and jokes to share. Even though we often laughed until it hurt, I'm thankful for those crazy weird times.
What I at first thought was a pain in the butt actually turned out to be my favorite part of the year, and that is the fact that I lived in South Hall. For starters, there is no air conditioning in this building, and the bathrooms aren't that great, but South quickly became my home. I'm honestly going to miss this building...all the dance parties, genuine joy, and spontaneous trips to, well, wherever! At first us freshmen thought the whole "Social South" thing was a joke, but we soon discovered it was actually true. And now we're all Southies for life:)
OPUS was a super cool event, too. Basically students get to sign up to show off their academic projects and adventures they had throughout the year. It was awesome to listen to other student's presentations and projects. I'm glad there are so many students that are passionate about what they're learning, and they want to share it with others.
I think what I and most of my friends loved the most this year are the odd dinner/mealtime conversations. First of all, a majority of people in our group are nursing majors, which means conversation often turned to the grossest medical stories or experiences we can share with each other. I guess I should apologize to my friends like Nathan, Kyle, Sierra, and others we have possibly grossed out. But then again, this is never going to stop, especially when we're actually in the nursing program. Sorry guys! Three more years;) Although some of our weirdest cafeteria conversations were not caused by the nursing majors!
I'm so thankful for the family that I've developed at Trinity. If I need a laugh or have something serious to discuss, I know I have people to go to. I'm thankful for Alice constantly telling me I should get out and do something and not be such a responsible nerd. I'm thankful for Nick's hilarious sarcasm and jokes, even though it flies over other people's heads at times. I'm thankful for Anneliese's dry humor and the funny faces she makes, especially when annoyed. I'm thankful for Maddy's obnoxiousness. I'm thankful for Kylla's smile and constant joy. I'm thankful for Nathan's well-worded explanations for everything (English majors be like). I'm thankful for Sierra's bubbliness and, yes, even her need to sing almost every moment of the day. I'm thankful for Kyle's laugh and genuine love for fun. I'm thankful for Taylor's love of laughter and just plain silliness. There are many more people I've grown to love at Trinity, but to write about all of them would cause arthritis in my hands, so I shall refrain. Just know that while all my friends are off having their crazy, exciting adventures, they will be missed.
When I was little and our whole family was gathered around the table for dinner, Dad would always ask how our day was. Us kids would take turns reciting the generic answers: "good," "okay," "boring," and "not too much homework."
Now, if I was asked how my year was and I only had a few words to express it, I would say that this year was one of challenges and blessings. I had a lot of obstacles to conquer, but the benefits of my first year at Trinity are truly astounding.
Hard times and good times.
Stress filled days and moments of laughter.
Challenges and blessings.
"She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future." -Proverbs 31:25
Thanks for reading! Our college adventure is 1/4 over. Here's to the next 3/4ths!
Saturday, March 8, 2014
My message: love, joy, strive, live, appreciate, cultivate, be, and share
Trinity is a campus full of blessings, one of which I'll discuss right now: Bible study. Each hallway in the dorms has a hall sponsor, and ours happened to grace us with her presence by leading our Bible study on Wednesday. We discussed what lent traditions, if any, we grew up with.
And then, near the end of Bible study, she challenged us to do something most of us thought would be impossible. She wanted us to write the final message we would give to our loved ones in 25 words or less before we died.
Crazy, right?
So we set to work thinking of the most loving, profound, and ground-breaking words to jot down with colorful crayons on our blank white sheets.
The first message I thought of, of course, was this: "Love deeply."
I chose this because love is the glue that holds people together. Whether you are a couple that after an argument realizes that the little things don't matter because you love each other, or a best friend that is always there to support the other. It doesn't matter! Every relationship requires work from both sides. And why do we want to do this work? Because of love! (insert cheesy smile here)
The second message is something a little more personal to me: "Find joy in everything."
A lot of people tell me that they have never seen me without a smile, or I'm always happy, or laughing, or something of that sort! To which I mentally respond, then you've never seen me after a stress-filled shift at work! While I'm not always a bubbly person, I am definitely not a Debbie-downer. I love the people I meet that always look on the bright side and take things as they come. Why do we need to be worried about every little detail? Let's just all take a deep breath, be thankful for what we've been given, and find joy in everything, even the dark times.
My third message is like a mini-motivational speech: "Strive for perfection in everything you do"
Now I know some of you are probably thinking, Are you saying it's bad for me that I make mistakes? Absolutely not. In fact, making mistakes is one of the best ways for us to learn. All I'm saying is that we should do our best in everything and work at what we need to improve on. That's why I put the word "strive" in there. We can never be perfect, but if we know we tried, then we can be proud of ourselves.
Message four: "Live boldly."
I love the fact that we are social creatures! How cool is it that we can converse with people, create relationships, feel joy, excitement, adrenaline? By living boldly, we allow ourselves to feel exposed, whether in a deep and intriguing conversation with a stranger, or by simply exploring a new place. These instances are important because we are trying new things and learning as we explore.
Number five I believe is especially important: "Appreciate beauty."
It is becoming increasingly difficult in our culture to truly appreciate beauty. Our minds have been slowly morphed into thinking that beauty is what we see in models and celebrities. But something so precious about every detail we see in nature, in animals, and in us is that everything we see is made by God's hands. Humans are even created in His image! How incredible is that? So why do we put others down? Why can't we learn to appreciate the beauty that is inside every single one of us? I know this is something I need to work, as it's so easy to be quick to judge, and I'm sure others of us struggle with this as well. So take a step back, think of God's masterful design of everything, and just bask in appreciation of it.
This next message is especially important for our walk as Christians: "Cultivate a servant's heart."
Christ had the ultimate servant's heart, and He is our greatest example of how to live. I know how easy it is to get tied up in our day to day lives of work, school, or what have you, but service is so important, it can't be passed up. Our world is so broken, every little step we can take will make a difference. On Thursday, I volunteered at an after school club for kids to help them with their homework. It was a very loud and rowdy environment, so it was difficult to keep the kids focused. But with every math problem we finished, the kids got more excited about being finished. It's as if they wanted to be successful, but just needed a little push to get there. Even service as simple as that is all God wants us to do. You don't have to be a missionary in some foreign country for three years. All you have to do is give some of your time to benefit the lives of others. That's the jist of service.
Message seven rings as a great reminder. What's something that bothers a lot of us? Two-faced people. Here's message seven: "Be yourself."
Remember those people in jr. high that would act one way with you and another way with others? That's the opposite of our goal. If you be yourself, the people you surround yourself with will appreciate you for you. I know this seems like such cliché advice, but it couldn't be more true! I can't imagine trying to keep up an act around my friends because I was acting like someone else when I met them. Why do that to yourself? Just be honest from the start! (okay, cheesiness ends here, I promise!)
And my final message is this: "Share Christ."
This paired with having a servant's heart is the simplest way to describe our purpose on this earth. We are salt and light to the world. Be in the world, but don't be of the world. I could go on, but I think this message is pretty clear.
Thanks for reading! I haven't blogged in awhile, so when I noticed I had some quality material, I thought I'd share it with you:)
And then, near the end of Bible study, she challenged us to do something most of us thought would be impossible. She wanted us to write the final message we would give to our loved ones in 25 words or less before we died.
Crazy, right?
So we set to work thinking of the most loving, profound, and ground-breaking words to jot down with colorful crayons on our blank white sheets.
The first message I thought of, of course, was this: "Love deeply."
I chose this because love is the glue that holds people together. Whether you are a couple that after an argument realizes that the little things don't matter because you love each other, or a best friend that is always there to support the other. It doesn't matter! Every relationship requires work from both sides. And why do we want to do this work? Because of love! (insert cheesy smile here)
The second message is something a little more personal to me: "Find joy in everything."
A lot of people tell me that they have never seen me without a smile, or I'm always happy, or laughing, or something of that sort! To which I mentally respond, then you've never seen me after a stress-filled shift at work! While I'm not always a bubbly person, I am definitely not a Debbie-downer. I love the people I meet that always look on the bright side and take things as they come. Why do we need to be worried about every little detail? Let's just all take a deep breath, be thankful for what we've been given, and find joy in everything, even the dark times.
My third message is like a mini-motivational speech: "Strive for perfection in everything you do"
Now I know some of you are probably thinking, Are you saying it's bad for me that I make mistakes? Absolutely not. In fact, making mistakes is one of the best ways for us to learn. All I'm saying is that we should do our best in everything and work at what we need to improve on. That's why I put the word "strive" in there. We can never be perfect, but if we know we tried, then we can be proud of ourselves.
Message four: "Live boldly."
I love the fact that we are social creatures! How cool is it that we can converse with people, create relationships, feel joy, excitement, adrenaline? By living boldly, we allow ourselves to feel exposed, whether in a deep and intriguing conversation with a stranger, or by simply exploring a new place. These instances are important because we are trying new things and learning as we explore.
Number five I believe is especially important: "Appreciate beauty."
It is becoming increasingly difficult in our culture to truly appreciate beauty. Our minds have been slowly morphed into thinking that beauty is what we see in models and celebrities. But something so precious about every detail we see in nature, in animals, and in us is that everything we see is made by God's hands. Humans are even created in His image! How incredible is that? So why do we put others down? Why can't we learn to appreciate the beauty that is inside every single one of us? I know this is something I need to work, as it's so easy to be quick to judge, and I'm sure others of us struggle with this as well. So take a step back, think of God's masterful design of everything, and just bask in appreciation of it.
This next message is especially important for our walk as Christians: "Cultivate a servant's heart."
Christ had the ultimate servant's heart, and He is our greatest example of how to live. I know how easy it is to get tied up in our day to day lives of work, school, or what have you, but service is so important, it can't be passed up. Our world is so broken, every little step we can take will make a difference. On Thursday, I volunteered at an after school club for kids to help them with their homework. It was a very loud and rowdy environment, so it was difficult to keep the kids focused. But with every math problem we finished, the kids got more excited about being finished. It's as if they wanted to be successful, but just needed a little push to get there. Even service as simple as that is all God wants us to do. You don't have to be a missionary in some foreign country for three years. All you have to do is give some of your time to benefit the lives of others. That's the jist of service.
Message seven rings as a great reminder. What's something that bothers a lot of us? Two-faced people. Here's message seven: "Be yourself."
Remember those people in jr. high that would act one way with you and another way with others? That's the opposite of our goal. If you be yourself, the people you surround yourself with will appreciate you for you. I know this seems like such cliché advice, but it couldn't be more true! I can't imagine trying to keep up an act around my friends because I was acting like someone else when I met them. Why do that to yourself? Just be honest from the start! (okay, cheesiness ends here, I promise!)
And my final message is this: "Share Christ."
This paired with having a servant's heart is the simplest way to describe our purpose on this earth. We are salt and light to the world. Be in the world, but don't be of the world. I could go on, but I think this message is pretty clear.
Thanks for reading! I haven't blogged in awhile, so when I noticed I had some quality material, I thought I'd share it with you:)
Saturday, January 18, 2014
I am the origami master!
After a Christmas break filled with work, family, presents, more work, and then getting stuck at work because of a snow storm, I finally made it back to school for interim. Interim is about a two week period in which students choose a class to take. But these classes aren't your average history or math class. These are unique classes like rock climbing, a trip to New York, conspiracy theories, or, in my case, origami.
At first, I was not excited about this interim at all. I thought it sounded super lame and nerdy, and I did not want to have to teach people what I was learning. I missed the first class day because the weather post-poned my travels, so I walked into class the second day, not knowing what to expect.
Origami literally means "folding paper." It was started by the Japanese in the 17th century and spread outside Japan in the 1900's. My teacher was a wise and yet hilarious older woman who happened to be a world traveler. She has been to every continent except Antarctica, some of them multiple times. I walked into class, told her my name, and was given a box of paper and other tools. Weapons. My training had begun.
After learning a few common moves and stances (folds and bases, that is), I was ready to dive into the ancient art of paper folding. From there I discovered new models and tricks that allowed me to climb the ladder toward becoming an origami master and achieving my black belt...or whatever it is you get when you become an origami master.....I should probably know that shouldn't I?
On Monday, I will face my final obstacle. During class we are to display our twelve best/favorite models. I hope I have used my weapons wisely to create the best models I possibly could. My training has come down to the final test. Will my creations impress the crowds as well as be enough to earn my origami black belt? I hope it was enough...and if it was then I will soon become *wait for it* and origami MASTER!!! (MASTER, master, master, master...)
I think you get the picture. Let's just say I feel like a really confident young kung-fu student who is about to be honored for achieving master status. While I know quite a lot about origami, I am definitely not an origami master! At least...not yet:)
At first, I was not excited about this interim at all. I thought it sounded super lame and nerdy, and I did not want to have to teach people what I was learning. I missed the first class day because the weather post-poned my travels, so I walked into class the second day, not knowing what to expect.
Origami literally means "folding paper." It was started by the Japanese in the 17th century and spread outside Japan in the 1900's. My teacher was a wise and yet hilarious older woman who happened to be a world traveler. She has been to every continent except Antarctica, some of them multiple times. I walked into class, told her my name, and was given a box of paper and other tools. Weapons. My training had begun.
After learning a few common moves and stances (folds and bases, that is), I was ready to dive into the ancient art of paper folding. From there I discovered new models and tricks that allowed me to climb the ladder toward becoming an origami master and achieving my black belt...or whatever it is you get when you become an origami master.....I should probably know that shouldn't I?
On Monday, I will face my final obstacle. During class we are to display our twelve best/favorite models. I hope I have used my weapons wisely to create the best models I possibly could. My training has come down to the final test. Will my creations impress the crowds as well as be enough to earn my origami black belt? I hope it was enough...and if it was then I will soon become *wait for it* and origami MASTER!!! (MASTER, master, master, master...)
I think you get the picture. Let's just say I feel like a really confident young kung-fu student who is about to be honored for achieving master status. While I know quite a lot about origami, I am definitely not an origami master! At least...not yet:)
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